Save Your Superhero

8 Ways To Become More Like Steve Jobs

2012-02-17T05:20:00.000+08:00

“You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary” – Steve Jobs

1. Trust that it would all work out OK
Steve naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of his working-class parents’ savings were being spent on his college tuition. After six months, he couldn’t see the value in it. So he decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions he ever made. The minute he dropped out he stopped taking the required classes that didn’t interest him, and began dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

2. Follow Your Interests
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because he had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, he decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me.

3. Love What You Do
He found what he loved to do early in life. Woz and him started Apple in his parents garage when he was 20. In 10 years Apple had grown from the two of them in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees.

4. See the Good in Every Bad Situation
At 30, he got fired from Apple. What had been the focus of his entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. He even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on him — he still loved what he did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. He had been rejected, but he was still in love. It turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to him. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

5. Don’t Settle
“Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.” – Steve Jobs

6. Life is short, Listen to Yourself
“When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

7. Your Time is Limited
Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

8. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalogue, which was one of the bibles of my generation. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself.

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Happy Birthday! Save Your Superhero!

2012-01-25T13:41:00.000+08:00

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Story of appreciation

2012-01-20T14:11:00.000+08:00

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.
He passed the first interview; the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth’s academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, “Did you obtain any scholarships in school?” the youth answered “none”.
The director asked, “Was it your father who paid for your school fees?” The youth answered, “My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, “Where did your mother work?” The youth answered, “My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, “Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?” The youth answered, “Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said, “I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother’s hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother’s hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother’s hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.
Next morning, the youth went to the director’s office.
The Director noticed the tears in the youth’s eyes, asked: “Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?”

The youth answered, “I cleaned my mother’s hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes’
The Director asked, “please tell me your feelings.”

The youth said, Number 1, I know now what appreciation is. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, “This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company’s performance improved tremendously.
A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop “entitlement mentality” and would always put him first. He would be ignorant of his parent’s efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

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10 Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills

2012-01-06T03:03:00.000+08:00

“ They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” – Carl W. Buechner

Lesson #1: Communication is Like a Muscle.
Lesson #2: You’re Overrating Your Communication Skills.
Lesson #3: Good Communication Can Compensate Bad Communication.
Lesson #4: Talk to the Point.
Lesson #5. Be Clear.
Lesson #6: Ask!
Lesson #7: Be Yourself.
Lesson #8: Listen Instead of Assuming.
Lesson #9: Don’t Argue for the Sake of Arguing.
Lesson #10. Smile!

Lesson #1. Communication is Like a Muscle.
The more you use it, the more it develops. This doesn’t mean that just by communicating you automatically improve your communication skills every time; applying certain principles and seeking to improve is also important. But the basics are in actually practicing, in interacting with people as much as you can.

Lesson #2: You’re Overrating Your Communication Skills.
There are two things which happen a lot in relation with communication: one is that almost everybody agrees that most people need to improve their communication skills, the other is that almost nobody believes they have this problem. It’s very possible that your communication skills need work, and it’s best to take this into account.

Lesson #3: Good Communication Can Compensate Bad Communication.
If you deal with people with bad communication skills, the situation is not hopeless. To a great extent, you can still get the kind of results you want, if you have good enough communication skills to balance things out. Just focus on your side of things.

Lesson #4: Talk to the Point.
Probably the most common mistake in communication is losing the attention of the people you’re talking to, because you’ve stopped saying something relevant for them. Always keep your target in mind and adapt the content of your communication so it’s relevant for whoever you are talking with.

Lesson #5. Be Clear.
General, fuzzy words don’t have much practical use in communication. They’re mostly a way of talking without saying much. Focus on using very specific and precise words when you talk, in order to present your thoughts in as a precise manner as you can. This improves your chance to be understood and to be convincing when you interact with others.

Lesson #6. Ask!
I can’t even begin to describe how much most people sabotage themselves in communication by not asking clearly for the things they want. We tend to avoid expressing our own needs or wants, or we fail to express them clearly. Instead, we hope that someone will simply address our needs and wants the way we want. This is a terrible strategy. If you want something, ask for it clearly. That’s what confident and effective people do.

Lesson #7: Be Yourself.
Communication can be used as a way to create a false impression about yourself. And this has some benefits but overall, it is just another bad strategy in relating with others. Instead, use communication as a way to express your true self, without regrets and without excuses. Authentic communication is the way to build great partnerships and overall, and to get the best results.

Lesson #8: Listen Instead of Assuming.
We will often stop listening to what a person has to say when her words seem familiar and we think we know what else she has to say. But we often jump to the wrong conclusions, and we end up misunderstanding others. Each person has unique experiences, and they will express them in unique ways. Listen to them instead of assuming before you respond.

Lesson #9: Don’t Argue for the Sake of Arguing.
This is something I see all the time: a person expresses an opinion and another person who has a different opinion instantly contradicts them. There is no practical benefit in converting this person to their side, and it’s improbable that they will, but they stubbornly try nonetheless. There are times to argue, when there is practical value in doing this. But these are the exceptions rather than the rules.

Lesson #10. Smile!
It’s such a simple act, which can communicate so many positive things, and can brighten up somebody’s day. Smiling is generally the act of the confident and the happy. It creates subtle but powerful effects and it’s something I recommend that you practice consciously each day.

And of course, whatever lessons you put into practice in your communication, remember to enjoy the process. It can be as meaningful as the destination of having cutting edge communication skills.

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Jumpstart 2012

2012-01-02T03:35:00.000+08:00

Ordinary habits in life will always bring extra-ordinary results.
Make a resolution to become better than you were in 2011.
Scroll through these 14 simple rules and make 2012 the best year ever.

1. As you sow, so you reap
This has a lot of variation in different cultures but the bottom line is "What you give is what you get". Yes, your kindergarten teacher told you this. What you do to others is your karma, what they do to you is their karma. Don't be bothered by their karma, focus on your own story.

2. Play the lead role in your movie
Write your own script. Define your own dreams. Don't play a supporting role inside your head to someone's cause which you are not passionate about.

3. Stop giving past more power than the present.
I got fired. I still miss my ex. I feel hopeless because X did Y to me. I am miserable. The list of excuses never ends and to you it will always appear that your story is unique. Well it very well might be but its time to attach your emotions to the present and refer to point 2 above.

4. Worry will not solve our problem. It will make you weak.
So dont worry, but acknowledge and accept. Then formulate your game plan which will take you to the desired result. Milk is spilled - either buy a new house or clean the spill. Stop fretting.

5. Belief is more powerful than dreams and hopes.
We become what we believe.

6. The only prayer we need to say is "Thank You".
I have written a lot about being grateful. We need to be reminded of this quite often.

7. Stand up for what you feel you should do and is right for you.
If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

8. Trust your instincts.
Intuition doesn't lie. If you don't have instincts then meditate. You will develop them soon.

9. Love yourself
and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

10. Let passion drive your profession
Hard to implement. But once you eventually find it there will be no stopping you and you will not need an alarm clock to get up.

11. Every day brings a chance to start over.
I need not say more.

12. Doubt means don't.
Don't move. Don't answer. Don't rush forward.

13. When you don't know what to do, get still.
The answer will come. Playfulness will always lead you to a solution. Enjoy the process.

14. Trouble don't last always.
This too shall pass.

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Sutra Magazine - "Lawan Jadi Kawan"

2011-12-01T14:14:00.000+08:00

Our Founder of Save Your Superhero: Fajar Siddiq featured in December, Sutra Magazine 2011

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Inquiring is Sales.

2011-11-27T04:51:00.000+08:00

The study found that 6 months after inquiring:

23 percent had bought the product or service advertised from the advertiser or a competitor.
67 percent said they were still in the market planning to buy.

And, looking back at older inquiries, they found that of those who bought:

11 percent purchased within 3 months of inquiring.
17 percent purchased within 4-6 months.
25 percent purchased within 7-12 months.
47 percent took more than a year to buy.

Unfortunately, despite the high number that eventually convert to sales, many salespeople believe that advertising inquires are not worth following up on. Why? Probably because a majority of these inquiries are from longer-term prospects, and salespeople generally need more immediate sales in order to meet monthly or quarterly quotas and earn commissions.

As a result, if your company's inquiry handling process simply passes all inquiries on to your salespeople, reps, dealers or distributors for follow up, beware: They're probably neglecting the longer-term prospects and, as a result, your company may be leaving as many as 8 out of 9 sales on the table for your competitors with better inquiry handling.

"What can we do we get our share of those longer-term sales?" you ask.
Simply follow these 4 steps to establish a solid inquiry handling process and sales-winning relationship with your prospects:

Show how responsive your company is by sending requested information immediately.
Use the phone to follow up with all inquirers to learn about their needs, authority, budget and timing.
Use ongoing direct mail, e-mail, faxes and telephone calls to keep in touch with your longer-term prospects. This will keep your company and its products "in sight and in mind" and allow you to "spoon feed" your prospects with information about the features and benefits of your products or services.
When you determine that specific prospects are ready to buy or meet with sales, get your salespeople involved.

To use an analogy, imagine your marketplace is like an orchard full of fruit trees. Your marketing people are the orchard tenders; planting, weeding, feeding and watering the trees. When the fruit is ripe, they call in the fruit pickers; your salespeople, reps, dealers or distributors. If enough trees were planted (advertising) and the orchard was well tended (follow up), there will be a bountiful crop of fruit to be picked (sales). If not, the pickings will be slim.

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Turn Stress into Strength

2011-11-01T00:49:00.000+08:00

Turn Stress into Strength: Empty Your Mind to Feel Your Senses

Life is a struggle. We can be victimized by it or we can train to stand up for ourselves. Worries, ambiguities and doubts whirl around in our brains. The byproducts of a feverish mind are an inability to concentrate and accomplish. We feel tired during the day, yet at night we lie in bed eyes wide open counting our problems like sheep. The way to break this cycle is to empty the mind of negative thoughts and feel our way around our world with our senses.

The first step is to change our vocabulary from “I think” to “I feel.” To express our feelings and act on them instead of accommodating all those lined up waiting for us is a significant improvement. Yet, “I feel” is still a verbalization of the rational mind. We have the capacity to rationalize and justify anything. To truly get into our feelings we have to be more primitive and elemental - to really experience and listen to our gut reactions. Our senses are more honest and direct than our thoughts.

This does not mean we should become vain or egotistical and seek a life of pure sensual pleasures. In order to satisfy both head and heart, body and soul, we need to train the mind and body to work together in synchrony. If we are always in our head, rationalizing, we do not perceive the signals the body sends us, lose our vitality, and increase the likelihood of disease or a breakdown in our relationships and career. We forget how to be spontaneously happy. We need to communicate with our bodies and receive that communication, so that it becomes automatic and we flow in whatever we do. Here are some suggestions to get out of your head and into your heart:

Train your mind to focus on whatever you are doing. If you are distracted, empty your mind and clean out the clutter.
Sit still, breathe to your own natural rhythm; close your eyes for five minutes as you give yourself a specific image or affirmation, or you might look at a beautiful picture and close your eyes. Then begin your next activity.
Focus on your breathing and visualize. Inhale a white fog, two counts through the nose and exhale a dark fog, four counts through the nose. With each breath feel your heart relax to beat in its natural rhythm.
Exercise to clear your mind and energize your body. Options are: lift weights to lift your spirits, take a brisk walk, or an aerobics class. Exercise provides the opportunity to just do and not to think. The body burns off cortisol and releases endorphins naturally when you exercise. You do not have to tell your body to do so. When you become proficient in your exercise, you flow - you do not think about the movement, you just do it, like a smooth golf swing.
Pray to a Divine force as though you were opening your heart to a friend who loves you just the way you are.
Lose yourself in a good book.
Now that your mind is emptying, your senses become more alive. Experience your sense of smell, taste, touch, sound and sight. Feel the signals they send you. If you think about a person or situation and experience a bad smell or foul taste in your mouth, your primal intuition is trying to tell you something. Listen to it to avoid a painful event.
If you experience a panic or anxiety attack, where are you going or where have you just come from? What are your senses trying to direct your attention to?
If you experience a pain in you body, what is your body trying to tell you? Ask yourself where the pain has lodged and what it symbolizes: Is it your knees- a fear of moving forward? Your heart- grief? Your back- lack of support?

The goal is to live in the moment. Some moments are painful and sad. But they are moments. Other moments are comical and joyous. For example, a pregnant woman might throw up all morning, feeling thoroughly nauseated. Yet in the evening she is enjoying a delicious big meal. Whatever we are experiencing in life is momentary. We get overloaded and then like our muscles we adapt. Funny, how we reflect on our past struggles and remember the good old days. Let’s vow to recognize and appreciate the good old days now!

Source: http://turnonyourinnerlight.com/EmptyYourMind.html

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Happy Boss Day!

2011-10-17T23:11:00.000+08:00

How to Achieve Flow and Happiness in Your Work

So how do you achieve this mystical state of being? Do you need to meditate or chant anything?
No, you don’t (although meditation can improve your ability to concentrate).
And Flow is anything but mystical — it’s very practical, and achieving it isn’t mysterious.

It can take practice, but you’ll get better at it. Here are the key steps to achieving and benefiting from Flow:

Choose work you love. If you dread a task, you’ll have a hard time losing yourself in it. If your job is made up of stuff you hate, you might want to consider finding another job. Or consider seeking projects you love to do within your current job. At any rate, be sure that whatever task you choose is something you can be passionate about.
Choose an important task. There’s work you love that’s easy and unimportant, and then there’s work you love that will make a long-term impact on your career and life. Choose the latter, as it will be a much better use of your time, and of Flow.
Make sure it’s challenging, but not too hard. If a task is too easy, you will be able to complete it without much thought or effort. A task should be challenging enough to require your full concentration. However, if it is too hard, you will find it difficult to lose yourself in it, as you will spend most of your concentration just trying to figure out how to do it — either that, or you’ll end up discouraged. It may take some trial and error to find tasks of the appropriate level of difficulty.
Find your quiet, peak time. This is actually two steps grouped into one. First, you’ll want to find a time that’s quiet, or you’ll never be able to focus. For me, that’s mornings, before the hustle of everyday life builds to a dull roar. That might be early morning, when you just wake, or early in the work day, when most people haven’t arrived yet or are still getting their coffee and settling down. Or you might try the lunch hour, when people are usually out of the office. Evenings work well too for many people. Or, if you’re lucky, you can do it at any time of the day if you can find a quiet spot to work in. Whatever time you choose, it should also be a peak energy time for you. Some people get tired after lunch — that’s not a good time to go for Flow. Find a time when you have lots of energy and can concentrate.
Clear away distractions. Aside from finding a quiet time and place to work, you’ll want to clear away all other distractions. That means turning off distracting music (unless you find music that helps you focus), turning off phones, email and IM notifications, Twitter and Growl, and anything else that might pop up or make noise to interrupt your thoughts. I also find it helpful to clear my desk, even if that means sweeping miscellaneous papers into a folder to be sorted through later. Of course, these days there isn’t anything on my desk, but I didn’t always work like this. A clear desk helps immensely.
Learn to focus on that task for as long as possible. This takes practice. You need to start on your chosen task and keep your focus on it for as long as you can. At first, many people will have difficulty, if they’re used to constantly switching between tasks. But keep trying, and keep bringing your focus back to your task. You’ll get better. And if you can keep your focus on that task, with no distractions, and if your task has been chosen well (something you love, something important, and something challenging), you should lose yourself in Flow.
Enjoy yourself. Losing yourself in Flow is an amazing thing, in my experience. It feels great to be able to really pour yourself into something worthwhile, to make great progress on a project or important task, to do something you’re passionate about. Take the time to appreciate this feeling (perhaps after the fact — it’s hard to appreciate it while you’re in Flow).
Keep practicing. Again, this takes practice. Each step will take some practice, from finding a quiet, peak time for yourself, to clearing distractions, to choosing the right task. And especially keeping your focus on a task for a long time. But each time you fail, try to learn from it. Each time you succeed, you should also learn from it — what did you do right? And the more you practice, the better you’ll get.
Reap the rewards. Aside from the pleasure of getting into Flow, you’ll also be happier with your work overall. You’ll get important stuff done. You’ll complete stuff more often, rather than starting and stopping frequently. All of this is hugely satisfying and rewarding. Take the time to appreciate this, and to continue to practice it every day.

“To be able to concentrate for a considerable time is essential to difficult achievement.” - Bertrand Russell

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How to Change Yourself

2011-09-27T01:41:00.000+08:00

Our life is so fast. Living in the same way for a long time is useless nowadays...
Changing is the only way. When people change anything related with themselves, they will feel the pulse of their life.

Accept and admit that you need to change. This is a huge step. The fact that you already clicked on this article shows that you want to change, and know somewhere you have a problem.
Think of all the things in your life you want better. Make a list of all the things, or the thing, that you want to change, don't hesitate.
Don't set any limits to your change. If you think maybe, someone will make fun of you for trying to change, or maybe it isn't possible, or that you just can't, realize that it doesn't matter! It's a psychological change, so attitude plays a big part in your ability to succeed. Set small, easy goals that you know you can achieve and work your way up.
Write the steps that you need to take to achieve the changes you wrote down. Be reasonable, but don't be afraid to reach high at the same time. Set a day when you'll start taking all these steps.
When that day comes to start doing those steps, just do it. Don't even think about it. Abandon everything you don't want and just throw yourself into the new you!
Make a habit of these new steps. It takes 21 days to break a habit. The first day will be so hard, but then it gets twice as easy every time....you have to want to do it for yourself don't give up, remind yourself everyday that you have to make a change!

TIPS

Remember that you should be whatever makes you happy. The world is full of positive and negative, and you should generally try to focus on the positive side.
Forget about other people and their comments, your life is yours.
Don't let people tell you how to live your life. Be yourself, and be true. Stay true to yourself, and others will be true with you. Don't ever doubt yourself...
Travel somewhere to clear your mind, maybe you'll discover new things or new thoughts that may change your life!
Read some philosophical thoughts. Maybe you'll find that your personality existed many centuries ago.
Changing your appearance is a fun way to encourage inner change (fun clothes will encourage you to be fun!) but should never be confused with the real thing.
Above all else, change begins with consciousness. If you are not aware of what you are doing, you cannot change your behavior.
Remember, although you may have a few problems, you are special and unique, and no one can change that.
Learn to love yourself, or no one else will.
Smile, cheer yourself up and be proud.
Don't EVER give up. YOU are worth it.
forget about your old life

Links: http://www.wikihow.com/Change-Yourself

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what you focus on you get

2011-09-24T07:35:00.000+08:00

This is a fun and interesting test… our brain is amazing and this video helps us understand more about how it works. Our reticular activating cortex works to point out things that are in line with where our attention is, with out this our brains would be over whelmed with the amount of information coming in, they call it ‘selective attention’. Its what many wives claim husbands have, but its actually a totally real and massively valuable thing. Most importantly it reminds us how important it is to know what we want and keep our attention on it because the way our brains work … what you focus on you get

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Inner Happiness is a result of Inner Peace

2011-09-13T17:29:00.000+08:00

The term inner happiness is extremely important. A common consensus of happiness and inner peace seekers is that true lasting happiness comes from inside us; thus, “inner happiness.” The reason this is such a vital part of long-lasting happiness, is that it is non-contingent on outside forces or influences. We all know how difficult it can be to find happiness, especially when we have no idea where to look.

Maybe you have always been successful at setting and achieving goals; striving for higher aspirations and constantly moving towards some ultimate goal. Even in my younger years, I found myself often setting higher goals for myself and eventually reaching them; and honestly, I really didn’t find it that difficult. The difficult part was finding a goal that left me completely satisfied and internally happy. The happiness I found was short lived and always left me still wanting more. Not until I stopped measuring my happiness by what I achieved, did I start to find inner peace, and ultimately inner happiness.

Inner Happiness is a result of Inner Peace

Inner happiness is a by-product of inner peace, yet achieving inner peace can be a long and laborious journey. We do not just wake up one morning filled with inner peace; at least it did not work that way for me. After years of chasing happiness, I finally decided to try something different.

“If you keep doing what you’ve always done… you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.”

Out of desperation I was determined to find a better way to live, and through the process I realized something amazing; I did not truly love myself. Initially this realization was difficult for me to accept since I always felt I had a fairly high self-esteem. For most of my life I was outgoing and known as a happy-go-lucky guy by friends and family. But through a process of self-discovery, I realized deep down inside I wasn’t so happy after all. I was confusing with what I showed people on the outside with what I was feeling on the inside. Accepting that I had little self-love was difficult at first, but I started with some facts which were hard to ignore. The main point being; had I truly loved myself, I would not have treated myself the way I did for so many years. It’s not like I was self-mutilating or outwardly mistreating myself, but more of an internal committee that constantly talked down to me. Looking back now, it’s obvious how little I cared about my own self and soul by what I was constantly saying to myself internally.

Inner Happiness Starts With Being Your Own Best Friend

Think about how you treat friends or family whom you’re trying to help or cheer up. Now think about how you talk to yourself. Are they in contradiction? Do you encourage others to keep their chin up or suggest they’re looking at the glass half empty while at the same time putting yourself down? Achieving inner peace starts with listening to how you talk to and treat yourself. You need to learn how to treat yourself as you would your best friend. Sounds easy enough right? Well, it can be hard I know, but it CAN be done.

Finding inner happiness starts with inner peace; inner peace starts with self love. For most of us, self-love is a journey and takes time, but it starts with treating yourself like you would a good friend. The first step is learning how to listen to what your inner-voice is saying about your best friend, you! If you can’t hear anything, maybe you’re not familiar with that friend inside. Listening starts with a relationship; start building a healthy relationship with yourself today! Do something nice for yourself, something you would do for a good friend. Oh, and tell yourself thanks!

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Contextual Thinking – The Key to Success in Communicating Innovative Proposals?

2011-09-04T01:27:00.001+08:00

You may have heard and read much in the last few years regarding creativity and innovation. Or you may even have attended a creativity workshop that you found interesting and fun that has helped you come up with some new ideas. Now your current employer may be requiring innovative input. However, you find that your suggestions are mostly ignored or frowned upon. This is mainly because nobody has told you the "The Secret”.You may have heard and read much in the last few years regarding creativity and innovation. Or you may even have attended a creativity workshop that you found interesting, fun and helped you come up with some new ideas. Now your current employer may be requiring innovative input. However, you find that your suggestions are mostly ignored or frowned upon.This is mainly because nobody has told you "the secret‟.In the case of creativity and innovation, not only do managers have different ideas of what they mean, but they find it difficult to express them in a consistent manner. This results in resorting to clichés such as out-of-the-box thinking, or ideas producing bottom-line results. If there is such a variety in opinion, what can you do as a potential or current employee to provide the required creative and innovation input?

7 Steps to Develop Creative and Innovative Thinking Skills

1. Do not get excited about it (or at least control your excitement).
Your innovative idea has flaws that your managers and colleagues see a mile away. However, they seem to be blinded to the financially rewarding innovative insights that you find obvious.

2. Do not get frustrated by rejection (or at least control your emotions). This comes with the territory. Instead you can deflect negative criticism by asking for constructive input: How would you improve this idea? How can we overcome this hurdle? (people usually do not give much feedback, but if they do, it can help you improve your idea and keep them quiet for a while).

3. Start asking some appropriate questions. Your aim is to know what your managers understand by creativity and innovation. What is their “box” when they use the “out-of-the-box” expression? How do they see the development of the products and processes and the technologies supporting them? This step is essential in discovering “the secret”.

4. Continue to collect relevant information. What is the market or technological trend that you can use to back your future innovation? What are the innovations from other players in the industry or similar industries in your country or abroad? What are your customers looking for? How can you meet their current challenges?

5. Generate many ideas. Stretch your mind to go beyond the 2nd best to the best option. Once you have generated many options you will get a better understanding on the different innovative possibilities facing you. Nobel Prize winner Linus Pauling said “The way to get good ideas is to get lots of ideas and throw the bad ones away”.

6. Be selective on your ideas. How does your perfect solution look like? You will start building a series of criteria that will guide your selection and future building up of a valuable solution. (This is crucial to find “the secret”).

7.Start building up ideas into solutions. You can proceed by identifying potential flaws (your colleagues will volunteer to help you do this) and refining your idea to remove those flaws or turn them into leverage points. The weakness of an idea can become its strength in a different context. For instance, the product Post-It™ was the result of a failed attempt to create stronger glue for paper.

6 Guidelines for Making People Accept Your Creative Input
Some basic guidelines to adopt when giving creative and innovative input are as follows:

Start small. By providing small feasible improvement suggestions you can start providing quick benefit to the company.
Consider the resources you need in terms of knowledge (what do you need to know) and manpower (who can help you). For instance, following up on competitors product history, usability reports or global technological trends in similar or different industries can help you gather insights for your innovative input.
Persevere and persuade. The innovation process may not be easy. You need to become a diplomat, be careful communicating calculated risk, testing periods, and never oversell your proposal on excitement.
Don’t listen to your VOJ. This is the small Voice of Judgment critical to all novelty in ideas even before they have been deliberately analysed and selected. As Einstein once said “If the idea is not absurd at first, there is no hope for it”. The process of making sense or connecting the idea to reality is a separate one.
Remember that suggestions need time and have their time. Some of them may flourish at a later date.
Learn from every mistake as much as you can. The more you learn, the more your managers will appreciate your work (these lessons will be applicable in future innovation initiatives).

Finally, use “the secret” from the first to the last moment of the process. This is simply stated “the ability to perceive, understand and value creative and innovative input from the other‟s (your manager) perspective”. You may even get to the point where the ideas that you produce resonate so much on your managers that they will themselves carry them out. This ability is learnt through insightful questioning and deep listening but it all starts with the intention (desire) to discover and understand deeply the cultivated (reasoned) viewpoints of others (try practising with friends or relatives).

The leverage to “the secret” is that the more you build trust in the existing managerial paradigm on creativity and innovation the more you will be able to stretch that paradigm to enable the company to see beyond to the possibilities of new business models, markets or even redefining one‟s industry. Are we not after all in a “City of Possibilities”?

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4 Steps to overcome fear

2011-08-22T17:19:00.000+08:00

A phobia or fear is a symptom of anxiety, a localized feeling of intense discomfort. That’s a very simple explanation for a complex and often terrifying experience. Despite the sensations, many of these phobias are not rational and can be overcome.

Often, the key to the cause of a certain fear or phobia is the same as the key to conquering it, which is control. Whatever situation gave birth to the phobia involved a momentary and mortifying loss of control. In order to conquer it, you’ll need to regain that control.

In this piece we’ll deal with so-called purposeless phobias, meaning ones that are brought on by a direct past experiences or trauma, not a phobia that hides some deeper disorder; in other words, a fear of spiders that stems from a past spider bite, for example.

Note: This is not meant for those who have experienced something life-threatening or have diagnosed panic disorder. In those cases, the reader should consult a medical professional to conquer their fear.

Step 1 - Don't Think
Before you dismiss this step as absolute nonsense, take a moment and consider it. What reaction can turn something minor and insignificant into an insurmountable obstacle? An incessant or obsessive dwelling on the matter, of course. The huge majority of phobia is the thought of it not the actual experience or interaction, but the dread it inspires. This dread is rarely, if ever, accompanied by any rational examination of the phobia itself. Instead, it’s composed of horrific images that make your skin crawl, your brow sweat and your stomach turn to jelly.

For once, be straight with yourself and say, “OK, I’m frightened to death of bees because I was routinely stung as a child.” All things considered, this phobia is absurd since the person suffering from this fear probably hasn't been stung in decades. Yet his response to seeing one is Pavlovian and he scatters like someone just tossed a grenade.

Step 2 - Have A Backup Thought
Manage your phobia with a backup an understudy of sorts. This is an aspect of control: Bring your hyper-imagination of the phobia under control by aligning it with the safety and comfort of a pleasant pinch hitter. Your phobia may have begun with a single traumatic moment, but since then it has been reinforced with dark thought after dark thought until it's potentially far removed from reality.

Instead of allowing those reinforcements to occupy your mind, seek something far more engaging or agreeable. For instance, our example who fears bees could take on a philosophical, almost Buddhist frame of mind; he has no desire to incite the bee to sting him because he knows that for a bee, one sting is all they get. So, our bee fearer's backup is to remain still and tell himself that he has no desire to see this bee’s life come to an end simply because of a decades-old phobia.

Don’t, however, use this step to imagine something worse than your current phobia. Doing so will only establish a new fear to conquer.

Step 3 - Look Forward To What's Next
Define an incentive for yourself by looking ahead, beyond your phobia. We all tend to benefit from incentives; we are a culture that demands immediate gratification in so many aspects of our lives, there’s no reason not to take advantage of this otherwise questionable characteristic and apply it to conquering our fears.

To that end, clarify what you’ll be achieving by conquering this fear the ability to get on an airplane and take a certain vacation, address an audience on a topic about which you’re passionate, or simply be able to clean under the sink, where spiders dwell means you'll be moving forward in life and able to achieve great things. In other words, what will beating this phobia mean to you? What will its greater value be, and how can you harvest it into something worthwhile?

Step 4 - Chalk Up Another Victory
The more minor victories you can accumulate toward conquering your phobia, the less mighty the phobia becomes. Returning to the issue of control, by going at it with both guns blazing you can reduce its otherwise overwhelming potency by chipping away at that power it holds over you until it starts to shrink.

An analogy can be found in countless video games. How many shots does it require to bring down certain characters in a variety of games? One is almost never enough. The same is true here: You can’t expect to fell a behemoth like a phobia with one shot; you’ll need to take shot after shot until you’ve sapped the phobia of any control over you.

This doesn’t mean, for example, that one should expose one’s self to bee sting after bee sting. Rather, it means one should expose one’s self to bees. Should they land or fly near you, employ the three prior steps and consider each encounter another victory until their presence no longer incites the same sense of anxiety.

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Fajar Siddiq's 9 Keys Constructive Thinking

2011-08-17T13:18:00.000+08:00

Fajar Siddiq found nine key differences:

1. Superachievers think in ways that make them less sensitive to disapproval and rejection. They brush off rejection faster.

2. They think in ways that facilitate effective action.

3. Their thoughts are more focused on the task at hand and they refuse to let their minds drift to unpleasant events of the past. If they cannot do anything about a negative situation, they do not worry about it and they move on with their lives.

4. They do not engage in superstitious thoughts.

5. The think that failures are an important source of learning and refuse to equate failure with low self-worth. Thinking constructively saves them from wasting time and suffering psychological pain.

6. They do not restrict their thinking by establishing rigid patterns. They do not divide others into "winners" and "losers," but accept people for who they are as individuals.

7. They think thoughts through without jumping to false conclusions. They are able to see their actions and the world in a healthy and realistic perspective. They are optimists, yet think realistically.

8. They welcome challenges with optimism and without fear. When they face difficulties, they find ways to look at the positive side of life.

9. They do not waste time in unproductive, esoteric, or catastrophic thoughts. They think constructively and they know that their level of thinking determines their level of success.

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You are in Charge of the Direction in your Life

2011-08-08T05:38:00.000+08:00

Don’t forget that. ….

It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities - Joanne Kathleen Rowling

I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude. No one else can ever make your choices for you. Your choices are yours alone. They are as much a part of you as every breath you will take, every moment of your life. You may think that in life, a lot of things happen to you along the way. The truth is, in life, you happen to a lot of things along the way. Choosing to live your life by your own choice is the greatest freedom you will ever have. It is only when you exercise your right to choose that you can also exercise your right to change. It is your programming that has created your choices in the past. It is the choices you make today that are creating the programs of your future.

If you were given only one choice: To choose or not to choose, which would you choose? The choices we make by accident are just as important as the choices we make by design.Another person’s choice is nothing more than another alternative for you to consider. There is no life as complete as the life that is lived by choice. There may be a thousand little choices in a day. All of them count. Whatever you choose, you might as well enjoy it. It is your choice. When you have a problem, make a choice…you’ll feel better. If you’d like to know what your choices have been, look at yourself and the life you have lived. What you see is the choices you’ve made. Who knows what you could accomplish in life if you made more of the right choices along the way? Some people choose to live by complaining. Other people choose to live. You cannot manage your life if you do not manage your self. You cannot manage your self if you do not manage your choices. Manage your choices, and you will manage your life. Learning what to choose, and how to choose, may be the most important education you will ever receive. The choices we make in the heat of emotion would be better if left for some other day.

Listen to the quietest whispers of your mind. They are telling you the choices that will help you the most. Even the best of choices is only as strong as the choices that stand by its side. It is the big choices we make that set our direction. It is the smallest choices we make that get us to the destination. Each day that passes, your choices will come and go. They are like diamonds in a chest of jewels, each waiting to be discovered. Those who choose to succeed always do better than those who never choose at all. The highest levels are most certainly filled with those who chose to be there. If you have to take time to make a choice, take time. Then make the choice. The end result of your life here on earth will always be the sum total of the choices you made while you were here.

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The Power of Focus

2011-08-02T06:49:00.000+08:00

“Always remember, your focus determines your reality.” - Qui-Gon to Anakin, Star Wars Episode

The quote above, as cheesy as George Lucas’ writing often is, contains a nugget of Jedi wisdom that I’ve repeatedly found to be true.

Your focus determines your reality.
It’s something we don’t think about much of the time, but give it some consideration now:
If you wake up in the morning and think about the miserable things you need to do later in the day, you’ll have a miserable day. If you wake up and focus instead on what a wonderful gift your life is, you’ll have a great day.

If we let our attention jump from one thing to another, we will have a busy, fractured and probably unproductive day. If we focus entirely on one job, we may lose ourselves in that job, and it will not only be the most productive thing we do all day, but it’ll be very enjoyable. If we focus on being tired and wanting to veg out in front of the TV, we will get a lot of television watching done. If, however, we focus on being healthy and fit, we will become healthy and fit through exercise and good eating.

This may seem simplistic, but it’s completely true. This is the magical power of focus.
Let’s look at some of the ways you can use focus to improve different aspects of your life.

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought.” - Buddha

Focus on a Goal
In my experience, focus is the most important determination of whether you’ll achieve a goal or stick to creating a new habit. Not self-discipline, not rewards, not sheer willpower, not even motivation (also an important ingredient, however). If you can maintain your focus on a goal or habit, you will more often than not achieve that goal or create that habit.

If you can’t maintain your focus, you won’t achieve the goal, unless it’s such an easy goal that it would have happened anyway. It’s that simple.
Why does focus matter so much? Let’s say you decide you want to declutter your house — that’s your goal for this month. So the first day, you’re completely focused on this goal, and you get boxes and trash bags and fill them up with junk. The second day, you’re still focused, and you fill up a bunch more boxes and you’ve cleared most of two rooms with progress on another. This goes on for a few more days, with your focus being on this goal, and lots of progress made.
However, let’s say that a week into your decluttering, you decide you want to become a runner. You are now focused on running, and not only do you go out to jog for a few days, you buy running clothes and a Nike-equipped iPod and read running blogs and magazines. However, you’ve lost your focus on decluttering, and soon you aren’t doing much of it, because your focus is on running. In fact, you’ve added more clutter because you’ve bought all the running equipment and magazines and books.

Meanwhile, I have maintained my focus on decluttering the entire month, and by the end of the month, I have a nice, simplified house. I did it through focus. This is why I am constantly advocating focusing on only one goal at a time. Having multiple goals spreads out your focus, and makes it less likely that you’ll complete any of the goals. It’s possible, but with a diffused focus, it’s much more difficult.

Even with only one goal, maintaining focus can be difficult. You need to find ways to keep your focus on that goal. Some good examples that work for me:
Read about your goal as much as possible, on websites and blogs and in books and magazines.

Post up reminders on your wall, refrigerator, and computer desktop.
Send yourself reminders using an online calendar or reminder service.
Tell as many people as possible about it, and post your progress on your blog.
Have a time each day to work on the goal, with a reminder in your schedule each day.
Maintain your focus on your goal, and you’ve won half the battle in achieving it.
Focus on Now I’ve written about this before, but focusing on the present can do a lot for you. It helps reduce stress, it helps you enjoy life to the fullest, and it can increase your effectiveness.
Focusing on now, rather than the past (“I can’t believe she said that to me!”) or the future (“what am I going to say in the darn meeting today?”) isn’t easy, and takes a lot of practice.

Have you ever completely lost yourself in a task, so that the world around you disappears? You lose track of time and are completely caught up in what you’re doing. That’s the popular concept of Flow, and it’s an important ingredient to finding happiness. Having work and leisure that gets you in this state of flow will almost undoubtedly lead to happiness. People find greatest enjoyment not when they’re passively mindless, but when they’re absorbed in a mindful challenge.

How do you get into flow? Well, it takes a bit of practice, but the first step is to find work that you’re passionate about. Seriously — this is an extremely important step. Find hobbies that you’re passionate about. Turn off the TV — this is the opposite of flow — and get outside and do something that truly engages you. Next, you need to clear away distractions and focus completely on the task you set before yourself. This is the part that takes a lot of practice. I’ll write more about this later.

Focus on the Positive
One of the key skills I’ve learned is how to be aware of my negative thoughts, and to replace them with positive thoughts. I learned this through quitting smoking and running — there are many times when you feel like giving up, and if you don’t catch these negative thoughts in time, they’ll fester and grow until you actually do give up.

Instead, learn to focus on the positive. Think about how great you feel. Think about how other people have done this, and so can you. Think about how good it will feel when you accomplish what you’re trying to do. Also learn to see the positive in just about any situation. This results in happiness, in my experience, as you don’t focus on the bad parts of your life, but on the good things. Be thankful for what you’ve been given. More here.

What are your thoughts on focus?

“We are what we think; as we desire so do we become! By our thoughts, desires, and habits, we either ascend to the full divine dignity of our nature, or we descend to suffer and learn.” – J. Todd Ferrier

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Visualization Technique

2011-07-22T14:30:00.000+08:00

Visualization is creating a mental picture of something. Visualization is important because it makes the future become more clear. Seeing yourself already achieving your goal makes your brain believe that attaining that goal is possible. Focusing consistently on any given goal will enable you to manifest it far sooner than if you didn't focus on it at all. Focus brings the goal closer to you.

Have you attempted visualizing, but find it difficult or impossible? Try this. Pick up a photo and study it closely; then close your eyes and tell me what you see. If you see anything resembling the picture, you are visualizing. It's that simple. If this doesn't work, or if you want to improve your visualization skills, take the same picture and while looking at it, close your eyes and open your eyes and close your eyes again. Do this as many times as possible for a few minutes. Soon you'll be seeing the picture, but you won't know if your eyes are open or closed and you will be visualizing better than before. Practice this technique often. You can focus on anything: people's faces, pictures, buttons. Get creative and have fun with it.

Additional Visualization Tips

When visualizing, it's important to view the action from the first person that is, see yourself achieving your goal through your own eyes, rather than watching yourself from the outside. This method is very powerful because this is the way you already see and experience everything.

Less powerful is viewing your goal from the third-person perspective, seeing yourself achieving the goal as if you were watching a movie. It still works, but it's not as effective as viewing from the first-person perspective.

Make visualization fun the more real your image is, the better this works. Make the image not just a still picture, but a full-length movie staring you. Replay it over and over, seeing yourself as the hero, achieving your goal. Create background music, pump it up, make it feel real, and have fun with it. This is how you want to see your goal in vibrant Technicolor on an IMAX screen not in dim, dreary, out-of-focus scenes shown on a shoebox-size theatre in the multiplex.

Your goal is a picture located somewhere in your mental image frame. When you close your eyes and see the image of your goal, determine where your mind is locating the picture: top, bottom, right, upper left, etc. Now, recall an important goal you have already accomplished, and find out where that goal is located in your mental image frame.

So now you have two goals in mind: one you've already achieved and one you want to achieve. Note every little detail about these goals: Where are they located? What are the colors of the images? Are they big, bright, and clear or are they small, blurry, and distant?

How do these images feel to you? Does one make you feel happy, excited, and thrilled? Does the other make you feel depressed, wistful, etc.?

Once you've noted every detail about the two images, take the goal you have not yet achieved and give it the same qualities as the goal you have achieved. Make it bigger and brighter; move it to the same location as the image of the already-achieved goal; make it feel the same by inserting every detail. Adjusting your mental image of the current goal to mirror one you've already achieved makes your new goal seem easier and gives you the feeling that you have already achieved it.

Physically act out your goal in action moves. For example, with your eyes closed, envision yourself buying a new home, walking through every detail. First, you get on the phone and talk to your realtor; later you shake his or her hand (yes, pick up an actual phone and really shake a hand). Greet the realtor and explain, in detail, what you want your house to look like. Take them to the house you want to buy (yes, really walk in place and explain the details out loud, using lots of gestures). I know this seems silly, and you may feel like a kid playacting, but this is a great visualization technique, not to mention a great stress reliever. Go through all the motions and experiences, as if they were really happening. Notice your emotions, and have fun with this!

Allow yourself 10 to 30 minutes every day or every other day for visualizing your goal. Set aside time to rest and remove yourself from everything else going on. Find a quiet, uninterrupted area to perform these techniques. Remember, the more you focus on your goals, the sooner you will achieve them.

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3 Things Not To Do When Asking People For Help

2011-07-19T13:45:00.000+08:00

1. Don’t Bring Up The Past

Bringing up the past, rather good or bad, will not help you in your cause. The justice and nobility of your cause will not prevail. Not only is a man not obliged to be grateful, gratitude is often a terrible burden that he gladly discards. It is best to speak pragmatically to pragmatic people. People rarely act against their own interests.

2. Don’t Be Trapped In Your Own Wants and Desires

Do not start from the assumption that the people you are appealing to have a selfless interest in helping you. Don’t talk as if your needs matter to people they probably could care less, especially referring to larger issues: a great cause, or grand emotions such as love and gratitude when simple, everyday realities would have much more appeal.

3. Don’t confuse your needs with others

Once you make people see how you can in some way meet their needs or advance their cause, their resistance to your requests for help will magically fall away. At each step on the way to acquiring power, you must train yourself to think your way inside the other person's mind, to see their needs and interests, to get rid of the screen of your own feelings that obscure the truth. Master this art and there will be no limits to what you can accomplish.

Sometimes The Motivation is Superiority

Believe it, or not, there are people who are not motivated through cynical self-interests. These are people who thrive on opportunities to display their good heart. They prefer to be able to exercise charity, mercy, and justice, which are their ways of feeling superior to you:

Because of their superior position, if you ask this person for help, you emphasize their power and position. The only requirement from you is that all of this is done in public, the more pubic, the better. It is truly their pleasure to give and to be seen giving. They are dying to fund your project, to introduce you to powerful people this is the wine that intoxicates them.

You must have the wisdom to distinguish the differences among powerful people and figure out what makes them tick. When they ooze greed, do not appeal to their charity. When they want to look charitable and noble, do not appeal to their greed.

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Art in Giving

2011-07-05T19:58:00.000+08:00

The true Art in Giving is to give from the heart without any expectation of a return.

True giving comes from the same place inside you as your deepest happiness. They are inexplicably intertwined.A gift is something that is enjoyed twice. First by the giver who revels in the pleasure of giving something special and then also enjoyed by the person who receives the gift.

A very special form of giving takes the form of small, personal acts of kindness. Very often it is not money or belongings that people need, it's the things that can't be seen, such as advice reassurance, a kind word, compliments or a smile.

You may be a bit sceptical, wondering what exactly do you have to give? Everybody has something of value for another person. It could be a kind word, a simple smile, some appreciation, the sharing of some special knowledge, even a helping hand or a bit of support during a difficult emotional time.

You have something to give everyone.

The act of true giving is something wonderful and amazing. With most things in this world, there is only a limited amount of what you can give away. Fortunately, generosity and kindness are not bound to these same material limitations.

One of life’s most basic laws is "every single act of love, kindness and generosity will multiply and return to you many times over ". The more you give the happier you will feel.

Your life is like a river of energy, continually flowing. What happens when a river stops moving? It get very muddy, and stagnant. A fast flowing river is full of life and clear water. Where would you rather drink?

The acts of giving and receiving are a continuos process of circulation that continues the flow of your life’s energies. For one person to receive someone else has to give. It’s a cycle of energy that flows continually onwards.

Pause for as moment as you read this, and take a big, deep breath. Hold it for as long as you possibly can. As you hold it inside, notice how uncomfortable you begin to feel when you are holding on to something that is meant to be released.

Now, breath out, completely and hold your breath with your lungs fully emptied. Feel how uncomfortable you feel when you are resisting taking in something that you need.

True giving, without expectation of anything in return is as effortless as breathing.

How often do you expect back from the person you gave something to a gift of a similar or greater value? Is this true giving or merely an unvoiced expectation of an exchange of similar goods?

Have you ever heard anyone saying " I just give and give and give until I have nothing left "?

This behaviour has many other names. Self denial, self pity, martyrdom, self righteousness to name just a few.

This is an ego based form of giving. It is giving with an expectation of something in return. In reality, this is not giving at all but an unvocalised form of barter. If, through the act of giving, you feel that you have “lost something or are somehow lessened” then the gift was not truly given from your heart.

Truly giving something from the heart is an action which will fill your life with joy. This is where the expression to “give whole heartedly” comes from.

The intention behind your giving is the most important thing. The intention should always be to create happiness for both the giver and the receiver

If you experience resentment and a feeling of “I don’t really want to give this to this person, but I feel that I have to” or “I really should give them something,” this is probably what ultimately will come back to you. Perhaps in this case, you need to consider not giving the gift at all !

What you give out is what comes back in direct proportions to the feelings you have in the act of giving.

It’s very simple. If you want to experience more joy, give joy to others, if you want more love, learn to give love, if you want attention and appreciation, learn to give appreciation to others. These are some of life’s most precious gifts and they don’t cost you anything.

When you meet someone, you can silently send them a blessing, wishing them happiness, joy and laughter. This kind of silent giving is very powerful. Do this, (with no thought of return) and you will suddenly find people around you opening to you in joy and happiness.

Make a descision that wherever you go, to whoever you meet, to give. As long as you are giving, you will also be receiving. The more you give, the more will flow back to you and be returned many times over. Giving creates a pattern of happiness, joy and love in your life beyond your wildest expectations.

In ancient China, Lao Tsu wrote "Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in Giving Creates Love.”

May your life be filled with love, happiness and inspiration

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There is a difference between positive thinking & constructive thinking.

2011-06-21T03:59:00.000+08:00

In order to understand constructive thinking, it is essential to understand emotions first. Many people feel that their emotions are a way in which they automatically react to circumstances. To them, an event happens, and then this event triggers emotions.

Most of these people are aware that it is possible for them to control their emotions, as well as the ways in which they express them, but most of these people feel that there is no way for them to actually stop the emotions from occurring in the first place.

For instance, when most people are treated in a manner which to them is unfair, they will react with anger. Once they become angry, they can decide whether or not they want to showcase this anger. One thing that most people don't realize is that their emotions are affected by the manner in which they see the circumstances, not the circumstances themselves.

In this lies the basic foundation for constructive thinking. The way you think and the things you think about is the person you will become. In other words, you are what you think. Constructive thinking should be thought of as a way in which you think constructively about the world around you.

Instead of allowing yourself to react to the events that occur in your life, you will first learn to interpret these events. The key to constructive thinking is understanding that interpretations often will have an influence on your emotions.

Most people believe that emotions always come first, and then thoughts come second. When most people become angry, they will have thoughts which are aggressive. When you're sad, you will often begin to develop thoughts which are pessimistic.

While it is true that our feelings do have an effect on our thoughts, the reality is that our thoughts shape our feelings. The distinction between thoughts preceding emotions and emotions preceding thoughts is that one is more conscious, while the other is more preconscious.

Most people are aware of their conscious as opposed to their pre-conscious, this is why we often have impressions about things which are false. But this raises the question of exactly what are interpretations? The best way to describe interpretations is that they are thoughts which are automatic, thoughts that in most cases you won't be aware of. Despite this, they are still thoughts.

Interpretation

To understand the role of constructive thinking, let me give you an example of interpretation. Lets say that you're out walking on a crowded city street, and all of a sudden, someone steps on your toe. If you "interpret" this as being a deliberate act, you may become angry.

However, if you "interpret" it as being accidental, you will be unlikely to become angry. In essence, the event which has transpired is still the same; someone has stepped on your foot. The difference is that the automatic thought you have, also known as your interpretation, is the way in which you emotionally react to the event. Some would argue that only one of these interpretations is right, while the other is wrong.

While this may be correct for some scenarios, there are many situations like this that you will encounter in your life, and for the most part, they will be ambiguous. In other words, a glass can be seen as being half empty or half full. What is most important is that you're able to interpret an ambiguous situation in a manner which allows you to have good judgment, as well as being happier overall.

A person with constructive thinking is someone who sees the glass as being half full. They maintain a proper interpretation of the events which occur in their life. Many researchers who work in the emotional intelligence field believe we have two types of minds, one which has a wisdom that is associated with it, and our more rational mind.

Train the Experiential Mind

By taking the time to train your experiential mind, you can greatly enhance and develop your emotional intelligence. The problem with IQ is that it has been too heavily emphasized in our culture. While IQ has its role in society, it also has many limitations, and until recently these limitations were not properly addressed.

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WORLD MEDITATION DAY!

2011-06-07T15:20:00.000+08:00

Get Involved.
Every Sunday.
There is no time left to be complacent. The world is changing now. Not tomorrow. Be part of the change for good. The love. Not the fear. Let go your attachment to the old world and embrace the new.

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5 Regrets of dying!

2011-06-02T22:27:00.000+08:00

By Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying)

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

"Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness."

Source: http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html

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Dream Big Dreams, Act out Big Actions

2011-05-29T20:28:00.000+08:00

“When an idea exclusively occupies the mind, it is transformed into an actual physical or mental state.” - Swami Vivekananda

Our work defines us. All the people in history who we remember did something which they loved. The reason they were able to leave a mark on this world is because they protected their dream and made it happen. They worked hard and struggled. They made it happen ! They did not let anyone tell them that they were not good enough. They followed their fears and overcame them. They were the champions of their times and we live in a world dominated by ideologies of the past which started as nothing but a thought in someone’s head. What you do today will leave an impact on the future. So do not look at work as a medium to simply pay your bills but become really good at it. Love it and you will be a force like none other.

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Don't Be A "Fake CEO"

2011-05-28T22:20:00.000+08:00

Everyone thinks that being a startup CEO is a glamorous job or one that has to be a ton of fun. That's what I now refer to as the "glamour brain" speaking aka the startup life you hear about from the press. You know the press articles I'm talking about... the ones that talk about how easy it is to raise money, how many users the company is getting, and how great it is to be CEO. Very rarely do you hear about what a bitch it is to be CEO and how it's not for every founder that wants to be an entrepreneur. I've spent a lot of time recently thinking about what it takes to be a great Startup CEO that is also a founder. Here are some of the traits I've found.

Be A Keeper Of The Company Vision

The CEO is the keeper of the company's overall vision. I'm not talking about the vision for the next few months, but the larger road ahead. The CEO needs to be able to keep things on course for the current quarter to make sure that the large overarching vision of the company can be achieved. The takeover the world vision of a startup usually can't be achieved in one year or even in some cases, like Google, in a decade. It takes a great startup CEO to keep the company on track to achieve that vision. A great startup CEO will often judge upcoming initiatives to see if they fit in as a piece of the large puzzle for the bigger vision.
Absorb The Pain For The Team

A startup CEO needs to be the personal voodoo doll for a startup. They need to be able to take on a strong burden of stress, pain, and torture all while making level headed decisions. You can't have the troops stressing and worrying about the difficult challenges at hand. A good startup CEO will absorb the stress, so the rest of the team can carry on. He also needs to be able to mask this pain and stress. Not that he should hide or lie to the team- I'm not encouraging that. Most of the day to day nuances+stresses of a startup aren't worth having the entire team worry about and the CEO needs to bear that pain.

Find The Smartest People And Defer On Domain Expertise

A startup CEO has a great knack for finding talent. The key is finding people that are smarter than you on specific topics. It might be technical team members/leaders or it might be a new VP of Biz Dev. A startup CEO has to have the ability to find these people and make relatively fast decisions to hire them. They also have to be able to show the fire and passion to convince them to leave what is most likely a better paying and more secure job to join the company. The real key to hiring as a startup CEO comes after the hire. A great startup CEO will be able to trust the hires that they make and defer to them on areas of domain expertise. It's hard to let go, but you have to learn to, especially when the company grows.

Be A Good Link Between The Company + Investors

Whether you want to believe it or not, you are not an investor's only portfolio company. Even if you are a superstar, they have a handful of other companies to help and a ton of incoming potential portfolio companies. A good investor will pick 2-3 new companies per year to work with. A good startup CEO will be a good link between progress, issues, and areas where they need help with investors. A good portion of early stage startups that raise money will have a board comprised of 3 people: the CEO founder, the investor, and an independent board member. You are the lone representative for your cofounder and other employees.

Be A Good Link Between The Company + Product

I have this unwavering belief that the best companies are those that keep a founder as CEO for the long haul. Not because the founders have the right to be CEO, but because the CEO needs to be close to the product vision of the company. Founding CEOs understand this the best and can carry out that same unified vision over time. To fill in the management gaps a great COO, other board members, and heads of divisions will come along. It's a strategy that Facebook has employed and why Apple has had a great resurgence with Steve Jobs at the helm. It's all about keeping the CEO as close as possibly linked to the product.

Be Able To Learn On The Job

Most startup CEOs didn't start out with an MBA or some background in growing a company from nothing to something. The best have an ability to learn along the way and embrace their failures to become a better leader. Zuck started when he was 19 and now 7 years later, runs the most powerful internet company. Don't worry about whether "you're qualified" as it's hard to put typical qualifications on the job. You'll learn the really core stuff along the way. The best startup CEOs will surround themselves with smart mentors to be a sounding board along the way.

No Experience Almost Preferred

It's almost better to have a blank slate of zero experience as a startup CEO. If you come in with preconceived notions and block out the scrappy methods of a startup founder, it actually hurts you. Traditional education often trains you to be CEO or manager for a much larger company, not for a startup of under 50 people. It's a different kind of leadership and company.

Have An Uncanny Ability To Say No

You will be inundated with a list of requests from potential partners, investors, employees, and more. They will all sound absolutely wonderful. As you grow, you will also have the resources to execute more of them. Don't. It's easy to say yes, but so very hard to say no. By having an uncanny ability to say no, you can keep your company on track with the large vision you maintain. It will also keep your team members (notice I don't like to use the word "employees") laser focused and feel more rewarded as they are able to focus on one thing for a good chunk of time. I've seen too many startups sink because the CEO keeps changing what the head of product and engineering should be doing.
Have Some Technical Knowledge And Skillset

A good startup CEO shouldn't be afraid of a little bit of code and a text editor. They don't need to be diving into the source code on a daily basis, but they need to understand the technical requirements. It's easy to say "go build this", but it's a whole other ball game to understand how to build it. What seems simple may be a huge mountain of a technical feat that just isn't feasible with the given resources and deadlines. It can also help lend some street cred with hiring early technical team members too.

Be Able To Break Things Down Into Sizable Chunks + Milestones

Remember that huge unwavering vision that you are the keeper of? Odds are it only makes sense to you and your cofounder. You will need to break it up into sizable chunks and milestones for the rest of the team to understand it. You also need to be able to pick when and where to conquer things strategically. What is the past of least resistance so you can gain traction? What can you do first with your given resources?

Have The Ability To Call An Audible

Nothing goes according to plan. Things fall through, people quit, shit happens, servers crash, and other random things go bump in the night. You're going to have to deal with it and fast. This is a football term:

"Seen when the quarterback goes up to the line of scrimmage, sees a defensive alignment he wasn't expecting, and adjusts by yelling out a new play."

You're going to come up against things that you didn't expect and just be able to call an audible. Launch faster, spend more money here, or even abandon a project.

Can Motivate The Team Through Despair

People love to talk in this business. People love to talk even more when you're company isn't fairing well. A great CEO will be able to take those moments of public despair and keep the company focused. They will be able to debunk the rumors or even approach them head on by keeping the members of the company focused on the bigger mission at hand. It can come in simple 5 minute talks or motivational emails. The worst thing you can do is avoid the situation and be passive aggressive. I repeat: DO NOT WUSS OUT.
Be A Great Communicator

You need to be able to portray the energy and passion that you feel into others...over and over and over and over and over and over again on a daily basis. As a startup founder you need to communicate the vision and hope for the future of your startup to the rest of the world. You need to be able to break down the overall vision of the company into something that mere mortals can understand. You can't speak in crazy technical jargon or industry terms. It needs to be simple, clear, and compelling. You also need to be able to argue your point. Many will pick "fights" with you just to see how strong willed you are. Be respectful, but be very confident in your answer. Often wrong, but never in doubt my friend.

Don't Be A "Fake CEO"

Mark Pincus, CEO of Zynga, makes a strong case for not being a fake ceo. In short, worry about things that produce results, not fame. If it's between going to a conference/doing an interview or completing a deal, get the deal done. Don't "leave it to someone else". You need to get your hands dirty every single day.

http://www.zynga.com/
Farmville, Mafia Wars, Cafe World, City Ville

By no means is this an exhaustive or definitive list. In some cases, the traits listed above might be counter-intuitive. What are some traits you've seen in great founding startup CEOs? Not the glamorous job you thought it was, eh?

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Seven Secret

2011-05-27T11:32:00.000+08:00

Guess where I found this seven secrets. Last night while i was visualizing my dreams.

1. Room said: Aim High
2. Fan said: Be Cool
3. Clock said: Every second is precious
4. Mirror said: Reflect before you act
5. Window said: See the world and pray to god
6. Calender said: Be up to date
7. Door said: Fight hard to achieve your goal

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1 to 10, 10 to 1 : correctly words your choose (opposite) "Choose your words correctly!"

2011-05-22T01:28:00.007+08:00

I begin by reading this list once daily.

I try and improve my vocabulary by choosing my spoken words carefully.

1. BEGIN: Take charge of your life by beginning something new or something you have always wanted to do. If the goal seems too large, start small by breaking the goal down into manageable parts.

2. IMAGINE: There is no boundary on imagination. Imagine something! This is the first step to achieving it.

3. LAUGH: Laughing is a direct line and connection to the soul. It keeps things positive and changes vibration in an instant. Children laugh around 400 times a day. Adults on average laugh 40 times a day. People should live life like children by laughing more during the day.

4. BELIEVE: Believe by resetting your mind to predict success. Tell yourself, "I will succeed at anything I put my mind to."

5. TRUST: Trust your inner voice. The wrong choice is the next step to the right one.

6. CREATE: Creativity maintains the balance of life. The more we use creativity the more it becomes great. Use it or lose it.

7. FORGIVE: Forgiveness is life-giving because it puts you back in charge of your life by empowering you to move forward not backward.

8. HOPE: Hope is what sustains us and humanity by knowing that the grass is always greener on the other side. Hope also keeps us growing spiritually and mentally.

9. GIVE: Happiness really involves giving more freely, and do not forget that receiving is part of the real spirit of giving.

10. ATTRACT: Give off only positive vibrations and emotions because it will repel the negative ones like oil does water. The law of attraction will breed more success, happiness, health, and wealth.

Source: Ezine Articles

source: http://psicommunications.typepad.com

"If you don't like something, change it.
If you can't change it,
change the way
how you think about it"

- Mary Engelbreit

According to the psychology department at Yale University, some words in the English language are more powerful than others. Here are their top 10 most powerful:

10. New -- It's part of basic human makeup to seek novelty.

9. Save -- We all want to save something.

8. Safety -- This could refer to health or long-lasting quality.

7. Proven -- Helps remove fear from trying something new.

6. Love -- Continues to be an all-time favorite.

5. Discover -- Presents a sense of excitement and adventure.

4. Guarantee -- Provides a sense of safety at the time of purchase.

3. Health -- Especially powerful when it applies to a product.

2. Results -- Works in rationalizing a purchase.

1. You -- Listed as the #1 most powerful word in every study reviewed. Because of the personal nature of advertising copywriting, you should use “you” in your headline, opening line and as often as possible. In fact, many copywriters will throw out a headline if “you” is not in it.

To the psychology department at Yale University, we ask, “What about 'Free'?” Reprinted from the Board Report for Graphic Artists.

Source: Riger

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17 Ways To Eliminate Worry

2011-05-18T01:27:00.002+08:00

"Those who do not know how to fight worry die young." - Anonymous

A worried mind is a troubled mind that is not at peace. Even though mankind in past civilizations had a rougher time surviving the elements and avoiding imminent dangers than modern man, it is modern man who is consumed by worry.

Facts You Should Know About Worrying

1. You Are Very Capable Of Eliminating Worry. If you want to avoid worry, Don't stew about the futures, just live each day.
2. Productive and Non-Productive Worry - Sometimes worry can actually motivate us to take effective action. Unfortunately, in our culture, worry is even accepted as a substitute for taking action. People who do nothing but worry incessantly about their problems can console themselves by saying "Well, at least I'm doing something (i.e., worrying) about my problems."
3. Worry Often Stems From A Lack Of Trust - When you don't trust yourself to master the demands of life, you tend to worry. And when you don't trust others to help you overcome your weaknesses, you also tend to worry for the very same reason. When you have a great deal of trust, however, that no matter what happens in life you'll come out okay, you won't worry very much.
4. Worry can make you pay an exorbitant price in terms of your health.

What Makes Us Worry?
People worry because they think If you didn't worry, things might get out of hand.

Side-Effects of Worrying
Worry can affect your physical as well as your mental health. Worriers are more likely to have irritable bowel syndrome, nausea, fatigue, and aches and pains. In addition, 93% of people with generalized anxiety disorder also have an overlapping psychiatric disorder such as depression.

How Much Worry is Too Much
If it's posing interference in your life or is enough of a problem or nuisance that you are distressed, then it is too much.

Analyzing Your Worry
When you, or any of your associates, are tempted to worry about a problem, write out and answer the following questions:
1. What is the problem?
2. What is the cause of the problem?
3. What are all possible solutions?
4. What is the best solution?
5. Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can't solve my problem?
6. Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst--if necessary.
7. Then calmly try to improve upon the worst--which you have already mentally agreed to accept.
8. Borkovec Questions To Solving Worries
a. Is it probable that the event will occur?
b. Are there constructive steps to be taken?
c. Does this problem have to run through this loop over and over?
d. Are there other alternatives to the situation?
These questions seem to slow down the worrying process and prevent the mind from being consumed by worry.
9. Osho’s Perspective on Worry

When you were not born,was there any anxiety,any worry,any angst ? You were not there, there was no problem.You are the problem, the begining of the problem & then as you grow more & more problems. Zen masters continously ask the new commers, where have you been before your father was born ? They are asking you, if you were not, there was no problem, what is the worry ?

Seventeen Ways to Eliminate Worry

1. Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for "life is what your thoughts make it."
2. Never try to get even with your enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let's never waste a minute thinking about people we don't like.
3. Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day--and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
4. Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude--but to give for the joy of giving.
5. Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
6. Count your blessings--not your troubles!
7. Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves, for "envy is ignorance" and "imitation is suicide."
8. When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make a lemonade.
9. Let's forget our own unhappiness, by trying to create a little happiness for others. "When you are good to others, you are best to yourself."
10. Pray
11. Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. It often means that you have aroused jealousy and envy. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog. Keep a record of the stupid things you have done and look for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism.
12. Keep busy. Plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised
13. Don't fuss about small things. Don't permit little things--the mere termites of life--to ruin your happiness.
14. Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: "I accept things as they are. I cannot lose anything that belongs to me by Divine right. The creator looks after my rights and I cast this burned on the [God/Christ/Higher Power] Within”
15. Let the past bury its dead. Don't saw sawdust.
16. Take responsibility for making your “present” life work for you. All you really have is your immediate experience. Take the challenge of appreciating and enjoying your life.
17. Have the courage to face whatever you are running away from. Take action here and now.

Five Ways To Prevent Worry And Keep Your Energy High
1. Rest before you get tired.
2. Learn to relax at your work and home. Meditate.
3. Apply these four good workings habits:
a. Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
b. Do things in the order of their importance.
c. When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts to make a decision.
d. Learn to organize, delegate and supervise.
4. To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work.
5. Remember, no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. It is worrying about insomnia that does the damage not the insomnia.

Visualization and Meditation Techniques To Eliminate Worry
Shifting one’s attention away from worries can stop them. New solutions to problems do not come from worrying. In fact, worrying can impede solutions. So if worry is allowed to constantly go around in a loop, there is very little hope stopping it. The bad part of the whole thing is that this sets up a habitual way of thinking. Catching the worry process before it starts is Self-Awareness. As soon as those thoughts of worry begin, one can apply visualization.

Try Visualizing:
- the beach at sunset
- a cascading waterfall
- field of flowers
- top of a mountain
- babbling brook
- freshly baked cookies at grandma's house
- cabin in the woods

The most important thing is that the scene being visualized brings out feelings of calmness and content. This is a way to escape the pressures and anxieties of the day and come to a place of peacefulness for both the mind and the body. To have the most positive meditative experience, it's best to try to emerge oneself as much as possible into the meditation image. Try to experience from all the senses.

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7 Irrational thoughts that disrupt your life!

2011-05-09T10:25:00.001+08:00

A lot of us suffer from irrational thinking which can affect our lives in a dramatic way. It can seperate the successful people in life from the unsuccessful ones, it can mean the difference between loving someone and hating someone, it can be the difference between peace and war. All wars, Yes I mean ALL, are caused by irrational thinking.

1. If someone criticises me there must be something wrong with me
There are many reasons why people criticise each other but it does not mean there is something wrong with you if they do criticise you. It means they have a differing opinion to you which is fantastic as without differing opinions in the world it would be a terrible place to live.

2. I must always seek approval in order to feel good about myself
Many people have thought this at one time or another in their lives, however it becomes damaging when it is an entrenched belief. There is no way you can please everybody all the time so there is no point in even trying. Seek approval from yourself and if you’re happy and feel good that’s all that matters. Yes it’s nice to have other people’s opinions but don’t go out of the way to please other people.

3. I won’t try anything new unless I know I will be good at it
Many people suffer from these types of thoughts. Trying new things in your life is a way for you to grow and learn more about yourself. You don’t have to be good at everything in your life but it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy new experiences even if you are not good at them.

4. It’s not my fault my life didn’t go the way I wanted
I have news for you; it is your fault. This doesn’t make you bad and it doesn’t mean you are a failure. You have control over your thoughts and therefore your actions. You thoughts and actions will determine your life. If you constantly blame others for the way your life has turned out you have given all your power away to other people. Take the control back and take responsibility for your thoughts and actions.

5. I am inferior to everyone else
That’s just the way you feel, which doesn’t make it true. You have qualities that nobody else can touch and other people have qualities that you can’t touch. Recognising your strengths will build your self confidence recognising others strengths will build their self confidence but don’t put yourself down when recognising that somebody else is better than you at something.

6. I was rejected which means there is something wrong with me
This is over generalising like the person who was rejected in a relationship, they think it always happens to them and they must somehow be unworthy of love. People reject others due to differing ideals, just like you do, but it doesn’t mean you are in any way unworthy it just means your ideals don’t match someone else’s ideals.

7. If I feel happy about life something will go wrong
Another common irrational thought. You deserve all the happiness you make for yourself; your past is your past, if there are still issues lurking from your past that is blocking you to feel happy about today speak to someone about it. Do not tinge your present and future thoughts with bad memories or else your present and future thoughts will get infected and your life will always stay the same.

How to stop your irrational thoughts
Simple! Just catch yourself every time you have an irrational thought or self defeating thought and replace the wording of your internal thought.

For example:
You are driving on a beautiful day and a bird decides to shit on your car.
You might think:
“that always happens to me, why do they always shit on my car”
To: “It’s about time I got the car washed”.
Look for the keywords in there “always”, this is an untruth. If birds always shit on his car his car would be floating in the stuff.
So catch yourself with untrue statements such as:
“always” e.g. I always get caught in the rain (If that were true you’d be a fish)
“I never……………………” e.g. “I can never get a parking space.” (If that were true you wouldn’t be able to go anywhere in your car without stopping).
“I couldn’t……” e.g. “I couldn’t walk a mile” (have you tried?).
“I’m hopeless at……………”e.g. “Oh, I am hopeless at talking in a group.” (usually said whilst talking to a group of friends).
“It’s terrible……” e,g. “Isn’t it terrible that it’s raining?” (Eh! No, it’s not terrible).
There are a lot more irrational thoughts out there and you have to be conscious to catch yourself thinking them.

We hope this article helps you to catch your irrational thoughts and brings your life into perspective.

Credits: Steven Aitchison

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Do Less But Do It Better

2011-05-09T02:10:00.004+08:00

“When you’re not successful, when you’re struggling or having problems, do LESS, don’t do MORE.” – Chuck Noll
You’d be surprised at the inner images people try to use to motivate themselves. In their mind’s eye, they see tiny, dark slides of their work being done, or a fuzzy, black-and-white picture of the reward for completing a project. No wonder they’re not motivated. Make a rich and compelling picture of what you want and what you value. The bigger, richer, more colorful, more three-dimensional and clear, the better.
Remember when a game ends, win or lose, it’s time to prepare for the next one. Learning is more important than the test. It’s about the lives we touch, the legacy we can leave, and the world we can change for the better.

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Facebook: It’s More Than Just Social Media

2011-04-29T05:53:00.002+08:00

On Facebook, it’s all about real people with real identities. It shows who we are and what we do. And Facebook’s algorithm looks to match your top/most relevant stories up to show what your friends are and what they do. Because of this relevancy – that trusted referral you can get through your friends – Facebook allows you to do personalised marketing on scale. Conversations are happening with or without the brands’ participation. But successful engagement brings further work – interactions are not just a stimulus for visibility, but from real people who want you to speak back.
Branded Communication on Facebook
As shown in the chart above, people interact in multiple ways. Great brands integrate various forms of media together. Build social into the wider strategy and link with offline media. Use Facebook to link back to your website and drive traffic back through. But remember – it’s creating relationships, not marketing. Brands use Facebook to get their message out, and users are also using Facebook to get their message out to the brands. Be human and hang out with your audience. Amplification will be far greater in that sweet middle spot.
Future Trends Mobile will be massive on Facebook.
There are over 10 million users in the UK that connect via Facebook Mobile – that’s a third of the total number of Facebook users in the UK. As we saw with Alton Towers’ check-in deals in February 2011 that drove 5,200 people to the amusement park, the collective power of smartphones, social networks and e-commerce will prove too much for brands to ignore.
Leveraging e-commerce through social channels will also increase. Levi’s uses open graph to track and show users what their friends might like, allowing shoppers to like, view and filter products based on social input/preferences. Shoppers can either view top products from “everyone” or specifically visit the “Friends Store”, a storefront with content chosen by Facebook friends.
The growing volume of public customer support through Facebook and Twitter is a challenge for businesses, who are still trying to work out how marketing and customer service can work together and share social channels. Integrating social media into the traditional business organisation is a big challenge. As social media professionals, we now need to help companies work out the real ROI from their social media activity. This is difficult, but doable – and I believe that brands and consumers will communicate together to leverage an open and connected world.

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Spread the Love

2011-04-26T03:21:00.003+08:00

Love is all you need. It has the highest energy on the spiritual plane and the more you give it, the more you will get it. Love is a cosmic phenomenon and opens to man “The World of the Wondrous”. Love is selfless and free from fear. Send love to your past, make peace with it. Forgive those who have wronged you and clean yourself of the negative energy you have been carrying around. Clean your emotional body and treat it with love everyday. Send yourself love, send the other person love, send those who wronged you love and slowly it will all become right. All disease, all unhappiness comes from the violation of law of love. Your boomerang of hate, resentment and criticism come back laden with sickness and sorrow

If the wrong cannot be righted, its effect can be neutralized by doing some one a kindness in the present. Sorrow, remorse and regret tear down the cells of the body, and poison the atmosphere of the individual. You are a perfect idea in the divine mind and are always in your right place. Give gratitude, love and good-will to everyone you encounter including yourself. Spread the love.

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Stay healthy with blood type.

2011-04-25T16:11:00.003+08:00

According to Dr. Peter DÁdamo, author of Eat Right For Your Type, a chemical reaction occurs between your blood and the foods you eat. This reaction is part of your genetic inheritance. This reaction is caused by a factor called Lectins. Lectins, abundant and diverse proteins found in foods, have agglutinating properties that affect your blood. So when you eat a food containing protein lectins that are incompatible with your blood type antigen, the lectins target an organ or bodily system and begin to agglutinate blood cells in that area.

Fortunately, most lectins found in the diet are not quite so life threatening, although they can cause a variety of other problems, especially if they are specific to a particular blood type. For the most part your immune systems protect you from lectins. Ninety-five percent of the lectins you absorb from your typical diets are sloughed off by the body. But at least five percent of the lectins you eat are filtered into the bloodstream and different reactions in different organs.

Your blood type diet is the restoration of your natural genetic rhythm. Your blood type diet works because you are able to follow a clear, logical, scientifically researched plan based on your cellular profile. Each food groups are divided into three categories: Highly beneficial ( food that acts like Medicine), Foods allowed (food that are no harm to the blood type) and Foods not allowed (food that acts like a Poison)

Simpler List
	Diet Profile	Allowed	Limited	Food to avoid for Weight Loss purpose	Food that help with Weight Loss
Type O	High Protein: Meat eaters	Meat fish vegetables fruit	grains beans legumes	wheat corn kidney beans navy beans lentils cabbage Brussels sprouts cauliflower mustard greens	kelp seafood salt liver red meat kale spinach broccoli
Type A	Vegetarian	vegetables tofu seafood grains beans legumes fruit		meat dairy kidney beans lima beans wheat	vegetable oil soy foods vegetables pineapple
Type B	Balanced omnivore	meat (no chicken) dairy grains beans legumes vegetables fruit		corn lentil peanuts sesame seeds buckwheat wheat	greens eggs venison liver licorice tea
Type AB	Mixed diet in moderation	meat seafood dairy tofu beans legumes grains vegetables fruits		red meat kidney beans lima beans seeds corn buckwheat	tofu seafood dairy greens kelp pineapple

source: http://www.drlam.com/blood_type_diet/

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10 Secrets of Success

2011-04-19T10:31:00.003+08:00

How you think is everything. Remember to “think positive” at every opportunity. Visualize success, not failure. Avoid negative environments and people.
Decide on your dreams and goals. Be specific about your goals. For example, say “I am taking a cooking class next month,” rather than “I would like to take a cooking class sometime.” Create a plan to reach your goals, and stick to it.
Take action. Goals alone have no meaning; you need to take action to make them real. Don’t let fear hold you back. "Just do it."
Never stop learning. Take classes, go back to school, read books, join a discussion group. If you are interested in a subject, make time to learn about it. Keep acquiring new skills.
Be persistent and work hard. You’ve probably heard the expression, “success is a marathon, not a sprint.” Keep your eye on the goal, and keep working toward it. Don’t give up.
Learn to analyze details. Get all the facts, and ask for input. This will help you make wiser decisions. Acknowledge your mistakes, but don’t beat yourself up. Learn from your mistakes.
Focus your time and money. When you believe in something, put your attention and energy there. Don’t let people or things distract you.
Don’t be afraid to innovate; be different. Be true to yourself, and have your own ideas. Following the crowd is a path to mediocrity.
Communicate with people effectively. Remember that no person is an island. Communicate your thoughts and desires honestly, and encourage others to communicate honestly with you. Practice understanding and motivating other people.
Be honest and dependable; take responsibility for what you do. Never cheat or lie. When you make a promise, keep it. When you screw up, admit it.

For more read and share!: http://www.facebook.com/notes/save-your-superhero/10-secrets-of-success/184307501615957

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Bill Gates 10 advices to young people

2011-04-17T05:17:00.000+08:00

1. “Life is not fair - get used to it.”
- The world is never fair. You know this? You can never change the whole world. Injustice still exists in the current society, so you should try to adapt.

2. “The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.”
- Your extreme self-esteem may make your job inconvenient. Don't attach too much significance on your self-esteem as people care about your achievements rather than it.

3. “You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with car phone, until you earn both.”
- Normally you can't be rich if you have just finished high school. However to become an executive, you need to obtain both: a high school certificate and the money.

4. “If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.”
- Don’t complain that your boss is tough. When you are at school, your teachers always stand by you whenever you meet problems. However if you have thought that all your problems really come from the hard requirements of your teachers, you shouldn't look for a job. Simply if there aren't strict demands from your company, you will do nothing and quickly become unemployed. Then nobody will give you a hand.

5. “If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.”
- Don't blame your failure on your destiny. All you need now is to stay calm and start from scratch.

6. “Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.”
- You should show your gratefulness to your parents for spending most of their lives for your living and growth. All the “outdated” of your parents today is the price they have to pay for your growth.

7. “Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life may not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.”
- Keep in mind that you can always become a leader, so that you will have more motivation to strive for your career.

8. “Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.”
- Don’t always wait for holidays or you will be left behind your colleagues. That backwardness means elimination and unemployment.

9. “Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.”
- Everybody likes watching TV, but you shouldn't watch it too much. As that actually isn't your life and your thinking will be influenced. You yourself have to determine your own life.

10. “Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.”
- You should be nice to everyone. Life has happenings you could never expect. Be open to your boss, don’t say bad things behind his back as it will bring you nowhere.

An empty bag.

2011-04-15T10:49:00.004+08:00

When you walk around with your thoughts, feelings, energy and felt the aura of "i'm here, just to take take take and give me this, give me that" It's just basically you walking around with an empty bag and your only concern is "what the hell your putting it?" And the people around you in the universe is going to response to that because that going to smell that basically that's called "DESPERATION" is the stinkiest perfume.

It can be smell from a mile away and when people smell that they not going to be attracted to you, that not going to work with you and not going to be involved with you. We're not saying that you should cast your empty bags aside. You can absolutely still carry your emtpy bags and it is important to be open to opportunities, open to accepting, rewards and things that can benefit to you.

But don't forget to have a nice other bag with you thats full with the stuffs you have to offer like your "TALENTS, GIFTS, THE THINGS YOU GOOD AT and THINGS YOU ARE PASSIONATE FOR" What's in that "big full bag", those things you have to offer that is going to earn you the right to be able to put in your "EMPTY BAG"

New look! at www.saveyoursuperhero.com

2011-04-15T10:25:00.000+08:00

We are so happy and grateful to put this work together to keep you updated with our website, twitter, youtube and on facebook. As much we want to help everyone and help ourselves to grow. We don't want to have a boring look that make our visitors and readers getting in and out of our website. So we decided to have a change ultimately!

Changing Your Thoughts Will Change Your Life

2011-04-13T23:00:00.002+08:00

Of all the beautiful truths pertaining to the soul that have been restored and brought to light in this age, none is more gladdening or fruitful of divine promise and confidence than this—that you are the master of your thought, the molder of your character, and the maker and shaper of your condition, environment and destiny. Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results … We understand this law in the natural world, and work with it; but few understand it in the mental and moral world—although its operation there is just as simple and undeviating— and they, therefore, do not cooperate with it.

Law, not confusion, is the dominating principle in the universe; justice, not injustice, is the soul and substance of life; and righteousness, not corruption, is the molding and moving force in the spiritual government of the world. This being so, we have to but right ourselves to find that the universe is right.

We don't attract what we want, but what we are. Only by changing your thoughts will you change your life. Circumstances do not make a person, they reveal him. We have no one else to blame for our present condition except ourselves. Change your world by changing your mind. Most of us are anxious to improve our circumstances, but are unwilling to improve ourselves—and we therefore remain bound.

Source: As a Man Thinketh, James Allen

100%, Nothing Less.

2011-04-12T07:44:00.002+08:00

Most people can manifest the small things quickly. This is because they do not have any resistance around the small things, and because they don't think thoughts that contradict them. When it comes to the bigger things, however, people often emit thoughts of doubt or worry that contradict those bigger things. This is the only difference in terms of the time it takes for something to manifest.

Nothing is big or small for the Universe.

Redesign Yourself

2011-04-10T01:49:00.002+08:00

What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now. So stop looking at that broken watch in the desolated and withering walls of your mind. Look ahead and redesign yourself !

Image Source: XEA

Imagination Hierarchy

2011-04-02T13:42:00.002+08:00

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.” – George Bernard Shaw

“Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work

Innovation – Have an IDEA in your Head ?

2011-04-01T00:12:00.000+08:00

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe it. ~Don Marquis

An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea. - Buddha

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21st Century Inner-Self Understanding.

2011-03-22T13:01:00.001+08:00

Spirituality

Astrology
Meditation
Metaphysical
New Age
Religion

Being spiritual is do go beyond the physicality of oneself and to discover and feel the powers of mind, to experience something that is close to soul and to come in close contact with the powers above through meditation or a religious approach. You may have a lot of questions in your mind. Many things about faith, religion, destiny, our origin and our purpose in life are left unanswered by nature. You can find the answers from within. The only thing you have to do is to look within.

1. Relax. Trying too hard is counter-productive. Pace yourself for a long journey, not a 100m sprint.

2. Accept yourself as you are TODAY. Your future will change – but enjoy life as it is right now. From this attitude, your days will be more fun and your future will be drawn to you automatically.

3. Remember the 2 most important things: 1. You are an eternal being of peace. 2. You have an eternal relationship with the Ocean of Love – and you are worth of love no matter what.

4. Be compassionate. Accept and bless others regardless of all their shortcomings. If you want to change yourself – PLEASE be loving and accepting to others ; )

5. Talk to yourself softly, sweetly and gently. Take the time to enjoy a loving heart to heart conversation with yourself each day and remind yourself of all the goodness you have within you. Let yourself know you are there for YOU no matter what.

6. Smile and don’t be so serious! : ) Life is a game.

To know yourself, be yourself.

2011-03-22T08:21:00.000+08:00

There is nothing to practice. To know yourself, be yourself. To be yourself, stop imagining yourself to be this or that. Just be. Let your true nature emerge. Don’t disturb your mind with seeking. -Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

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Promise Yourself!

2011-03-22T08:11:00.000+08:00

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything & make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best & expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past & press onto greater achievement of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side as long as you are true to the best that is in you ! – Christian D. Larson

Image Source: Flickr

Wake Up!

2011-03-22T07:46:00.003+08:00

One day you will get up and realize that so far in your life you have been living in your head, either regretting things or hoping for things or simply thinking about how you would like the present to be while you are in the present. Will today be the day when you will set a goal and be realistic ? Accepting Have/Have Not’s.

Go to bed at night believing that you will make it happen and get up in the morning praying to have energy to do things on your list.

1. Plan your day around the priorities.
“Lack of time is actually lack of priorities.” ~ Tim Ferriss

2. Know when something is not working and try a different way
“Being able to quit things that don’t work is integral to being a winner.” ~ Tim Ferriss

Believe in YOU

2011-03-22T07:40:00.002+08:00

One day, my mother said to me, “If you become a soldier, you will be a general; if you become a monk you’ll end up as the pope.” Instead, I became a painter and now I am Picasso" - Pablo Picasso

8 Ways to Boost Your Relationship

2011-03-16T16:28:00.000+08:00

1. Share an activity
A great way to focus on the future of your relationship is through shared activity. Whether it's watching movies, signing up for cookery classes, or going to the gym together, try and establish a routine for doing some things together as a couple. It is key to protect this together time from conflict, however. If a pressing relationship issue comes up during this time, commit to discussing it at an agreed time in the near future.

2. Find true forgiveness
Look inwards and ask yourself, what past hurtful acts of your partner have you truly managed to forgive? You may have been able to look past angry and bitter thoughts, and carry on, but these resentments continue to act as weeds in the relationship.
Forgiving may mean that you two have to talk about the painful issues with a third person, or a therapist, or you may have to turn towards spirituality to process the pain and let go of the old wounds on your own.

3. Express gratitude
All too often, we take the help and support we get from our partners for granted - and forget to say ‘thank you'. In the same way you would thank a friend if you went to their home for dinner, you should also thank your partner for cooking you a lovely meal at home - or taking the trash out, or paying bills, or whatever little chore he has done. Showing your partner you appreciate what they do for you is essential for maintaining a happy relationship.

4. Eat healthy
When you eat a healthy balanced diet geared towards physiological wellbeing, you are also feeding your brain. "There are many different mechanisms by which the brain extracts what it needs from the diet, but one of the basics for this process is gastrointestinal health. Serotonin, the happiness hormone, is found in the gastrointestinal tract. Therefore, by promoting a general sense of wellbeing, you are creating more positivity in your relationships.

5. Make joint decisions
When you are making big or small decisions - whether it's where you move, what color your new curtains should be, or where you go on vacation - make a conscious effort to consult your partner, and have an open mind. By considering their thoughts and feedback before making the decision, you are showing them that you respect them and their input. This sharing of ‘power' is one of the most important things for a relationship to be healthy.

6. Look for the secret button
In any marriage, each person needs to be aware of their partner's needs. You might think that you are giving everything to the relationship, but maybe you are not giving what your spouse really needs. The challenge is to find the ‘secret button' that works for that person, because if you don't, it can lead to frustration and disappointment, and the relationship will start to feel like too much hard work. The basic human needs are comfort and security; variety (challenges that stimulate); the need to feel important; the need for love and connection; the need to grow and develop; and the need to contribute. Being observant about your partner's behavior will help you work out what his priorities are. Once you start understanding what is driving him, you can work at addressing that need, rather than reacting on a superficial level.

7. Don't overlook the little things
Don't wait for a birthday or Valentine's Day to do something nice for your partner. Make every day special by doing something small for each other or planning little surprises that show you care. This could be anything like a quick phone call to check on him if he isn't feeling well, picking up a muffin from the bakery on the way home, a midday text to say that you are thinking about him, or making his favorite food for dinner.

8. Keep it funny
A sense of humor is critical for getting through common relationship hurdles. If your partner has an annoying habit, using humor when telling him about it, rather than nagging, will make getting your point across that much easier. Equally, playfulness is one of the main casualties of relationships, when you are bogged down by everyday stresses. Consciously seek out ways to find the humor and fun you enjoyed in the early stages of your relationship - there are few things that are as bonding as shared laughter.

Source: Forwarded Email

Remember that Excitement?

2011-03-16T15:28:00.000+08:00

Remember that time in life when you were excited about the possibilities that lie ahead. Nothing could take away your joy. Maybe it was that new relationship, maybe a sweet summer crush. Maybe it was your first job, maybe the last day of school. Maybe a new idea, maybe move to a new city. You would look up in the sky and dream the impossible dreams. Remember that excitement?

Whenever you feel down...Re-live that moment, you were on top !

Tap into that energy, it is still the same you and still the same life with endless possibilities!

Image: velco

Free Positive Thoughts – Take One

2011-03-16T15:14:00.000+08:00

I communicate with love. Every moment is a profound opportunity. Consider how very fortunate you are. Give yourself the gift of being joyfully you. Complain less, breath more. Be a path of life, not afraid of it. Make the choice to let go of negative thoughts. Let Be, Let Go, Let See, Let Flow. You are a walking breathing wonder. You have a beautiful soul. Give thanks for another day of loving.

Source: wehearit.com

Winner or Loser?

2011-03-08T01:13:00.001+08:00

WINNER OR LOSER?
Read all & find out if u r more of a loser or more of a winner? Answer is pretty obvious! Yes! Winner!!

A loser wastes time. A winner makes time.
A loser says, "Nobody knows." A winner says, "Let's find out."
A loser says, "I can't help it." A winner says, "If it is to be, it's up to me."
A loser is afraid of winning. A winner is not afraid of losing.
A loser has to. A winner wants to.
A loser is part of the problem. A winner is part of the solution.
A loser talks about it. A winner does it.
A loser makes promises. A winner makes commitments.
A loser is always "too busy." A winner works harder than a loser.
A loser resents others. A winner learns from others.
A loser says, "I'll try to do that." A winner says, "I plan to do that."
A loser says, "I'm not as bad as a lot of other people." A winner says, "I'm good, but not as good as I can be."
A loser just waits until it's his turn to talk. A winner listens.
A loser catches people doing things wrong. A winner catches people doing things right.
A loser says, "It wasn't my fault." A winner says, "I was wrong."
A loser says, "That's the way it's always been done." A winner says, "There ought to be a better way."
A loser sees problems. A winner sees opportunities.
A loser complains about others. A winner celebrates others.
A loser says, "I only work here." A winner feels responsible for more than her job.
A loser translates reality into dreams. A winner translates dreams into reality.
A loser expects failure. A winner expects success.

Encouragement: "You can do it!"

2011-02-22T13:35:00.000+08:00

One of the most powerful forces in our lives is encouragement. Encouragement is so important because it is life-altering. Not only for the person who gets it...but also for the one who gives it.

There are three key ways to embrace encouragement in your own life:

-Giving encouragement to others.

-Accepting encouragement from others.

-Believing in yourself.

1. Giving encouragement to others.

Some of the most important advice I give to people is to not pass up the opportunity to encourage others. Your simple words of encouragement can have a profound effect on someone's life.

When you encourage people, you are giving them a reason to pursue their goal or dream. You're saying you "get it". It's not some pipe dream they've had spinning around in their heads. It's real. Then, when the opportunity to shine comes their way, they've got the confidence to move forward and go for it.

Just by showing your support to someone, you can be the one to open the door to a person's dream. If you see someone with a great talent, point it out and lift it up. If you've learned something, share it. Some people fear that if they give their expertise to people who may be on a similar path, they will lose their own opportunities to them. Yet so often, you will find that the good you give will come back to you. But, don't let that be your motivation for encouraging someone. Do it because it's the right thing to do.

2. Accepting encouragement from others.

Ever hear of people that "can't take a compliment?"

Somehow they are uncomfortable with being told that they excel in something, that they are people with something special to offer the world. There are many different reasons for this. They may feel they are unworthy, or that to acknowledge this kind of encouragement would be showing egotism.

Yet, it's important to be able to accept encouragement from others. It leads you on the road to believing in yourself to accomplish those goals. There's something else you may not have realized when you accept encouragement: it's not just about you. When you accept encouragement from others, you are showing them affirmation as well.

As an example, I've known some musicians who have a tendency to deflect compliments on a performance, just because one or two things didn't work perfectly, or they are harsh on themselves. Fans didn't notice those little things the artists felt they did or didn't do...or it wasn't so important to them. They were affected by the songs or the artists and wanted to say so. Instead of accepting sincere praise, some artists would respond by criticizing or otherwise downplaying their talents.

There are a couple of problems with this. When you react this way, you are in a sense telling people that their thoughts don't have an effect on you. That can be frustrating and disappointing to the person trying to encourage you. After a while, people may decide that there is no point to it anymore because their message is not getting through. Eventually, they might stop trying altogether...and you lose out on the great treasure of encouragement.

Modesty is an admirable trait, but be sure you are not taking it to the extreme. Accept the encouragement that people give to you as the gift it is. Doing this will bless you and the giver...a true win-win situation.

3. Believing in yourself

Now you might ask, isn't believing in yourself the same thing as accepting encouragement?

Not really.

One has to come before the other. If you aren't going to accept encouragement, it's mighty hard to believe in yourself, isn't it? The encouragement given to you is external. Once you have truly accepted and absorbed it, and owned it as true, then you are on your way to believing in yourself. Sometimes that's hard to do when you're facing rejection, encountering roadblocks, and things aren't coming together as you've hoped...just yet.

You know deep down inside why you're doing what you're doing. You have a God given talent, a calling, or a message. Trust it. Things don't always happen on our timetable...or exactly in the way you planned. Lots of times, it's that thing that comes out of left field. Somebody saw your website link in some odd place, or someone found out about you from someplace or someone else...maybe an avenue you weren't ever aware of.

There's an emerging and powerful way to embrace and accept encouragement and believe in yourself: partnering with someone who can hold up a mirror to your thoughts, plans and goals. In the process of this dynamic, possibilities can be revealed to you that you hadn't realized, or thought of because it might have been stuck down in your surface someplace, or it hasn't been seen with fresh eyes before. For you it might be where you're going with your work, how to communicate how unique you are, how do I get this opportunity, etc. When you are affirmed, it's empowering. And then, it becomes contagious. It feels so good to receive it, that before long you want others to feel the way you do, and so you start giving it to others.

5 Tips to Envy vs Jealousy

2011-02-14T16:59:00.000+08:00

"Envy is ignorance." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has" - Elizabeth O'Connor

They are very, very similar, but different emotions. To envy is to want as well, to be jealous is to want to have something instead of some one else having it. Technically, jealousy and envy could be described as more and less extreme versions of the same emotion.

Jealousy is a basic human emotion arising from the longing for another person's success, fame, riches or status. We all feel it at some point in our lives and it's normal. But, extensive jealousy may very well be caused by a deeply embedded anger against a person, society or even your own self. Excessive jealousy is often the result of low self-confidence and self-esteem about oneself. Socially, jealousy may mean a sensed threat to a harmonious relationship. Either way, jealousy can be classified in to several categories, so let's take a look at each type and how to cope with jealousy.

Healthy Jealousy
Jealousy is not always harmful. In certain relationships, such as marriages, jealousy is natural, because partners tend to be possessive of each other. Ordinary envious reactions rearing it's not-so-ugly head is perfectly alright, as long as the persons involved make it all clear to each other. Learning how to cope with this type of jealousy is not difficult, because it's mild and occasional and doesn't need a lot of mind-training.

Destructive Jealousy
This is definitely what you should do everything in your power to avoid. Destructive jealousy is when you frequently, intensely and irrationally jealous. Such uncontrollable jealousy is always harmful and should be eliminated and if to do so, first you must learn how to cope with jealousy.

Tip 1: Identify The Root Cause
Knowing the cause for jealousy in any situation is the first step towards overcoming such negative emotions. Your own insecurities and unresolved feelings are often the reasons for feeling jealousy towards another. You will have to follow self-confidence building exercises and techniques to overcome self-esteem issues.

Tip 2: Take A Reality Check
If you are in a relationship and you think there's a threat to it from a third party, how sure are you about it? Could it just be the way you are seeing it? Perhaps, you are mistaken. Don't let your assumptions get in the way of a healthy relationship just because you feel jealous based on imagined problems.

Tip 3: Positive Thinking
Like in every situation where negative emotions get in the way of rational thinking, positive thinking helps. When jealousy burns, try thinking of better things. So, your colleague got a promotion and you feel envious because you think you deserved it better? Think of the bonus you got on Christmas last year or how fantastic it was to get that pay raise.

Tip 4: Seek Objective Opinions
Get the perspective of a neutral party. If you are often behaving jealously, they will tell you, but only if you ask in all honesty. Knowing is half way to resolving, so get someone else's opinion.

Tip 5: Find Reassurance
Communication is always the key to resolving issues, so always find reassurance from people around you, if you feel like you are going overboard with jealousy. The best way to seek help is by talking about whatever that's bothering you and causing the problems.
Jealousy is generally the result of deeply embedded long-term issues, such as anger, anxiety, frustration and inadequacy. An inferiority complex or low self-esteem will make jealousy a front to vent out its wrath, so focus on eliminating all negative emotions.

Find your Passion

2011-02-14T16:30:00.000+08:00

When you do what you love, and love what you do, you are energised, inspired and motivated from within.

"Your profession is not what brings home your paycheck. Your profession is what you were put on earth to do. With such passion and such intensity that it becomes spiritual in calling."
Vincent Van Gogh

If love what you are doing you can stop reading now.
If not, begin to explore your options and move in the direction of something self-fulfilling. By no means resign or shut down your business, but begin to create intentions about a future that allows you to fulfill your potential and use your unique talents and gifts.

When you follow your passions you will:

Develop your your unique talents and abilities
Feel alive an inspired by what you to
Feel that you are growing on a daily basis, not shrinking
Unlock your unique creative resources

Ask yourself:

Would you like to jump out of bed in the morning energized about the day ahead?
Would you like to be filled with ideas about what you can do and achieve and find ways to them into practice?
Would you love to be passionate about your what you do?

When you feel passionate about what you dedicate your life to you feel inspired from within.

9 Steps to Positive Thinking

2011-02-07T17:29:00.002+08:00

Step 1 : Control your mind confidently

There is only one way to positive mental attitude: You have to control your mind confidently. Our mind is the greatest miracle in the universe. Everyone has an amazing treasure, brain and nerves. Every normal person basically has the power to reach everything that others can or trying to reach. We have the power to aim the spirit, emotion, instinct, willingness, feelings, mood, attitude and act to a result. It is up to you how to use all this.
To block all negative things, always make an affirmation like this :
”My mind is mine, I will control it!”

Step 2 : Focus your mind to what you really want and get rid what you don’t want

Most of our mind pattern will be replaced by words, but the deepest motivational mind usually in pictures, not words. If an idea appear, it is usually as a picture, not a moving sentence of words in our head. Pictures is the earliest and strongest mind pattern.
So, we have to learn to discipline our mind and visualizes things that we want. Don’t let environment or other people dictate negative image into us.

Step 3 : Apply the Golden Rule

Treat others just as how you want to be treated. On the contrary, do not treat others badly if we does not want to be treated like that. Find goodness inside every person and every situation consistently.

Step 4 : Get rid of all negative thoughts through self inspection

Most people does not realize that they are having negative thoughts unless they are consciously try to inspect their own mind, act and reaction. Just ask ourselves. ”Is this positive or negative?”. When we fail to conquer our mind, our reaction will tend to be negative.
The more we train to use positive mental attitude, the faster we realize the emerge of negative thoughts.

Step 5 : Be happy! Make others happy!

To feel happy, act like a happy person! To be spiritful, we have to act spiritful.
In the end, you will experience the happy feelings and spirit that will show themselves without you having to focus on them.

Step 6 : Make a habit of tolerance

Be open minded with others. Try to like and accept others the way they are instead of demanding or hoping they can be like what we want. Find kindness in other people and learn to love others. Next is a quote from Napoleon Hill : ”How long, oh dear God, we puny creatures will realize our stupidity trying to destroy others for religion and race difference?”

Step 7 : Give a positive suggestion to ourselves

Suggestion is a certain stimulant sent to brain through five senses : sight, hearing, feeling, touch and smell. All of them are the paths that are used by external elements to affect our lifes every day. As long as we can control this process, try so what comes through your five senses is something useful and something that can bring happiness. Just take the beautiful things.

Step 8 : Use the power of prayers

When you pray, believe in anything you ask. In every storm, your soul will get a protection from a prayer.

Step 9 : Decide your targets

To decide your target is one way to keep our mind focused to what we want, and away from what we don’t want.

Dreams

2011-02-07T17:27:00.000+08:00

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that that lit up her entire being.

She said, “Hi, handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?” I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze. “Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked. She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel.” “No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. “I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and share a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.”

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began: “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.

“You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dean and don’t even know it!”

“There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change.”

“Have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.”

She concluded her speech by courageously singing The Rose. She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the years end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Life That Can Be Explained In One Sentence

2011-02-07T17:25:00.000+08:00

Arthur Ashe, is a legendary Wimbledon Tennis player who died of AIDS as the cause of blood transfusion he took in his heart operation at 1983.

One day, he received a letter from one of his fans who asked, “Why God chose you to take that cursed disease?”

Arthur replied, “There are 50 million kids who started to play tennis on the whole world. But, only 5 million learned to play tennis. There are 500.000 people who learn tennis professionally.
Among them, 50.000 are ready to join the tournaments anytime. There are 5000 tennis player who made it into Grand slam tournament. There are 50 tennis players who join Wimbledon tournament, but only 4 made it to semi final, then 2 made it to final. But, I’m the only one who won the trophy. When I held that trophy with my hand, I didn’t asked God “Why me?” Today I wont ask God when I am ill “Why me?”

Happiness will keep you behave sweetly. Challenge will keep you strong. Sorrow will keep you human. Failure will keep you modest. Success will keep you passionate, but only your attitude and loyalty which will keep you moving forward.

Why the 9 to 5 Office Worker Will Become a Thing of the Past

2011-02-07T17:21:00.000+08:00

In your personal life, when attending to business or working on side projects, how often do you spend 8 consecutive hours in front of a computer? It doesn’t make sense because we lose the ability to concentrate effectively within a few hours.

Everyone goes through alternating periods of high and low mental acuity. There are days when I work on personal projects for well over 8 hours, but the time is always divided into multiple sessions. I might spend a few hours coding a design, a few hours writing, and a few hours reading feeds, moderating comments, and responding to email.
I work this way because it aligns with my mental energy cycle. Any more than 3 hours in front of a computer and my eyes start hurting and I become restless. I lose the ability to do my best work. Instead of forcing myself to continue, I switch to an activity that allows my mind to recharge. These breaks maximize productivity by eliminating down periods. It’s counter productive to force work when the mental energy isn’t there.

The Problem with an 8 Hour Work Day

A continuous 8 hour work day is a relic of the past. It makes sense for physical labor and manufacturing work, but with information workers it doesn’t account for the mental energy cycle. The ability of a factory worker to think analytically is irrelevant, he’s either cranking widgets or he isn’t.

In the case of the modern information worker, nearly all tasks involve creative or strategic thinking. The way someone answers an email or interprets a piece of information can differ drastically depending on his or her energy level. Nobody does their best work 5:30 in the afternoon after they’ve been sucking down coffee all day to stay awake.

I can’t speak for all workers, but I’ve observed that productivity levels generally peak twice a day — first thing in the morning and shortly after lunch. The most productive period is the beginning of the day. People are capable of creative tasks like writing and solving complex technical problems. After a couple hours of intense work, energy levels drop and workers downgrade to less demanding tasks like responding to email and tinkering with existing creations.

Towards the end of the cycle, the mind is so cluttered and drained that workers resort to “work related activities” that appear productive but don’t contribute to the bottom line. The afternoon cycle is similar but the productivity peak isn’t as high. For different people the peaks and valleys will vary, but overall I’d estimate only 3-4 hours a day could be classified as highly productive.

This number isn’t caused by slacking. You can’t force an information worker to be highly productive when the energy isn’t there. Workers can try their hardest, but the work just won’t have that creative edge. The low ratio of highly productive hours to total hours worked is the result of the continuous 8 hour work day.

When workers reach the low energy part of the cycle, they can’t recharge with a non-work activity. The only option is office purgatory. You can’t be highly productive because you’re mentally fatigued, but you can’t recharge because the 8 hour work day requires the appearance of constant productivity. The result is millions of unproductive workers trapped at their desks when they’d rather be doing something else.

Alternative Work Arrangements

The obvious solution to this problem is planning around the mental energy cycle by breaking the work day into multiple segments. The traditional office setting doesn’t accommodate this because there are few available recharge activities. People can’t do household chores, run errands, or engage in recreational activities without leaving the workplace.

Some companies have tried to make the work environment more accommodating by offering meals, fitness centers, and special areas for relaxation. Although these amenities are certainly an improvement, they’re expensive for employers and only partially satisfy employees.

The solution that makes the most sense is a remote work arrangement because it reduces employer costs and allows employees to adjust their work schedule to their mental energy cycle. When a worker becomes mentally fatigued, they can go off the clock and engage in recharge activities that are personally productive like exercise or relaxation. When energy returns, the worker can start working again at a high level, effectively cutting out the low productivity period of the cycle.

Employers don’t pay for unproductive time and employees get to work in a more natural pattern that adjusts to their personal lives.

Why isn’t everyone doing this already? Many workers already are, and as commutes get worse and communications improve, the number will continue to increase. Of course there will always be a need for office workers in businesses (like doctor’s offices and law firms) that require daily customer interaction, but for most companies it really isn’t necessary.

There is also the argument that people need to collaborate in person. This is steadily becoming less essential. Most office communications are already done through email or instant messager. Face to face meetings are certainly necessary, but for the vast majority of lower and mid level employees meetings are the exception and could be conducted via phone/video conference or condensed into one or two days a week.

Another common objection is that employees will abuse remote work arrangements by slacking off. I’m inclined to believe that most adults value their employment enough that this isn’t a problem. In cases where supervision is required, web cams and other technology can used to monitor a worker.

I suspect the real reason remote work arrangements are still the exception is inertia. Companies are used to doing business in the office and are reluctant to change. There is also the presence of office politics. If one person is given a remote arrangement, jealous employees will complain. Doesn’t it make sense to give everyone what they want and save a boat load of cash on office space?

I may only be a kid in his 20′s, but I can tell when something just makes sense. I perceive an increasing number of people are noticing the same phenomena. Forty years from now we’ll be telling our grandchildren about the olden days when everyone’s mommy and daddy went to work in an office.

14 Ways To Procrastinate Productively

2011-02-07T17:16:00.000+08:00

Productive procrastination falls into two categories, structured and unstructured. Anything to postpone what you really need to do, right?

Whenever I need to avoid something important, I turn to a few tasks that rarely get the attention they deserve.

Get Organized – There’s no better way to feel productive while avoiding the inevitable than organizing your home or work space. Without procrastination my desk would be perpetually cluttered and the dishes would never get done.
Network – Have a bunch of contacts you should really touch base with but don’t have the time? Procrastination is a great opportunity to politely reply to nonessential email. Taking the time to stay in touch with people pays dividends in the long-run.
Plan Ahead – The only thing better than actually doing something is thinking/talking about doing something. Take the time to identify, record, and schedule all your tasks, obviously leaving the most important for last.
Odds and Ends – Procrastination is the best time to find closure for everything that’s on your mind. Use it as an excuse to investigate and resolve issues that have been nagging you.
Meetings – If you’re not going to be productive, you might as well take other people down with you.
Errands – Need to schedule a dentist appointment? How about that oil change? Procrastination is capable of making the most tedious and trivial errands appealing.
Get Up To Date – Have a bunch of dull reports and memos you should probably read? They’re starting to look a lot more interesting.
Assist Others – If you’re not going to do your own work, you can at least deliver on the help you promised your colleague last week.

Unstructured Procrastination

Structured procrastination is a great way to keep busy, but sometimes that doesn’t cut it. When you’d rather not do anything work related, unstructured procrastination is the way to go. It might seem like laziness, but what’s wrong with that?
Unstructured procrastination is essential for recharging creative energy and allowing the unconscious mind to work on difficult problems. These are 6 productive ways to avoid work completely.

Go to Lunch – You need to eat, might as well do it now so you can’t use it as an excuse later.
Exercise – Same as lunch, with the added benefit of increased alertness.
Take a Walk – A casual walk is a great way to unburden your mind and allow great ideas to come to you.
Relax – If you feel a strong desire to procrastinate, there’s probably a reason behind it. Relax ation is important for a healthy productive lifestyle, why not do it now when you can’t get anything else done?
Come Up With a Great Idea – This one can’t exactly be completed on demand, but studies have shown that entrepreneurs and other creative people tend to get their best ideas during down time.
Read a Good Book – If you’d rather not think for yourself, you might as well absorb the great ideas someone else took the trouble to record.

Open-Mindedness

2011-02-07T17:13:00.000+08:00

The plea to “be more open-minded” often falls on deaf ears.
But why is that?

Is it because it’s too difficult to be open-minded? Or are people simply not interested in being open-minded?

To answer these questions it’s important to understand what open-mindedness means and to consider the factors that can impede open-mindedness.

So What IS Open-Mindedness?
Before we get to what open-mindedness is, let’s look at what it isn’t.
Being open-minded doesn’t mean you accept all opinions as being true or equally valid.
You can be open-minded and disagree with others.
That’s right, you can be open-minded and think that others are wrong.
Open-mindedness isn’t simply about being open to new ideas, but also about being mindful of the ideas that you do accept.

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”
~ Aristotle

Your mind is a powerful filter, which you don’t want to ignore or bypass.
It helps you develop a consistent understanding of reality that allows you to make sense of the world and take appropriate action to lead a fulfilling life.
Imagine agreeing with all opinions and values that come your way. What would your life be like?
To be open-minded doesn’t mean that you stop filtering ideas, but that you’re willing to adjust your filters and reconsider your own beliefs.

“Don’t be too open-minded, or your brain will fall out.”
~ Anonymous

Sounds simple in theory, but can feel impossible in practice.
To develop an open-minded attitude, you need to distinguish between three things:

You
Your beliefs
The truth

And the two biggest reasons for why open-mindedness is so difficult are:

1- We identify with our beliefs: We use our beliefs as an identity by saying “I’m a Christian” or “I’m a Muslim” or “I’m an Atheist.” And when our beliefs are questioned, we feel threatened. When our ideas are rejected, we feel insulted. If you consider your beliefs who you are, you won’t be willing to consider other points of view and you’ll get defensive in order to protect your beliefs. But your beliefs don’t define you. They express your understanding of the truth right now, and you have the choice to consider other beliefs and opinions.

2- We consider our beliefs to be the truth: If we equate our beliefs with the truth, then there’s not much room for open-mindedness, and we can get very frustrated with others who don’t share our convictions. When we get into a discussion, we’re not interested in listening, but speaking. That’s because we have the truth and others are obviously wrong, since they disagree with us. But by maintaining the distinction between our beliefs and the truth, we become more open to consider other points of view and to listen to what others have to say.
Open-mindedness requires us to maintain the distinctions between who we are, what we believe and what the truth is.

What Open-Mindedness Looks Like
An open-minded individual strives to develop a better understanding of the world and is willing to listen to other people’s beliefs and opinions, to learn from their insights.
He doesn’t feel obliged to agree with others, but respects their right to their own convictions, without trying to force his own views on them.

“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”
~ Evelyn Beatrice Hall

He’s not embarrassed to admit his own ignorance, or when he has made an intellectual error.
He doesn’t need to resort to rationalizations to justify his beliefs and is prepared to listen to criticisms without being offended.

Not only does he consider other people’s opinions, but he’s willing to look at life – or any topic being discussed – from another person’s worldview (i.e. the framework used to understand the world).

Our opinions make perfect sense when we look at them through our own ideological lens, and other opinions seem wrong from that perspective. But what if there’s a flaw in our worldview? Are we prepared to revise our basic beliefs and assumptions?
Since we want to get a better understanding of the world, there’s no use in clinging to our beliefs because they’re more familiar and comfortable to us. That would turn our beliefs into an obstacle rather than a bridge towards the truth.
There’s nothing mindful about that.

Open-Mindedness And Holistic Growth
Being open-minded impacts all areas of our life and is an essential precursor to personal growth.

We cannot experience Spiritual enlightenment if we refuse to abandon limiting beliefs.
We cannot develop our Intellectual awareness if we fail to consider other opinions and perspectives.
We cannot create a healthy Psychological mindset if we feel threatened when our beliefs are questioned.

We cannot build strong Social relationships if we’re not prepared to listen to others, or when we seek to force our own views on them.

We cannot achieve Professional success if we choose to do business the way we’ve always done, without considering new approaches and embracing changing trends.

We cannot discover new Recreational activities and experiences if we only want to stick to what we already know and feel comfortable with.

We cannot enhance our Physical well-being if we’re not prepared to question conventional wisdom about diet and health.

Cultivating an open-mind is an investment that allows us to reap great rewards that can never be realized without it.

I Want To Be Extraordinary !

2011-02-07T05:57:00.000+08:00

Our eyes, mind and heart always want to see everything as beautiful as we see in our dream. But why reality is not always like we wanted? You certainly have dreams, hopes, wishes or desires. The question is, has any of it came true? Or how much have you tried to realize it?
This article will challenge you to design a better future. But before you continue reading, prepare a pencil and a book to note important things. Also, prepare your mind, heart, sincerity and honesty to accept these theorem below :

An honest self acknowledgment is the key to your success

Courage will deliver you to the right path

A willing to learn behavior is an enlightening friend in your journey

Modesty is the weapon to get through all boundaries

After you have understood all the theorem above, lets sail into your self to understand it, find your dream and achieve it.

Dreams

An honest self recognition is a wise attitude before you want to be extraordinary. That way, you will find your strength and weakness. “Me and my dreams” is the deepest form of need inside of everyone. To recognize yourself you have to reset what your desires exactly are. What I want to be in the next 3, 5, 10 years ahead? Extraordinary people always search for environments that are able to support themselves to become what they dream. If they have not found it, they don’t give up! Instead, they create their own environment. Please introspect yourself, are your dreams in accordance and have the appropriate environment. If not, you have to dare yourself to get out from the path you are on. Take courage to change your way! Then, decided your desire and hold on to it. Recognize yourself with your dreams.

Self image

How do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as a weak, low, apathy, selfish, sucks, shy, afraid to fail person or any other negative act and attitude? A good self image is an absolute precondition to become an extraordinary man. If all this time you are pessimistic to yourself, then it is time to change yourself to be optimistic, highly appreciated, ambitious, and dare to take on challenges and risks. Each person has the right to be successful. Each person has the right to decide his desire as high as possible, has the right to get his desire. As long as you feel unworthy, incapable, it means you insult yourself too much. You have stepped on your self image. That is why you have to fix the way you see yourself. Fix your self image.

Self esteem

Self esteem is your feelings or how much you love yourself. Have you ever imagine yourself as a famous movie star, adored and appreciated by many people? Don’t you feel so extraordinary in your heart and feelings? Doesn’t it affect your feelings? Doesn’t it then you come to love yourself more? That is a self esteem. To love, proud, and care to yourself is an important essence to be extraordinary. It is impossible for others to appreciate you if you never appreciate yourself either. If you give yourself a perfect score, 10, then others will also give 10, even more! On the contrary, if you don’t appreciate yourself, so cheaply appreciate yourself, others will do the same to you. So, appreciate yourself as much as possible.

Challenge yourself

It is impossible for you to be always motivated all the time. There are times when life seems so difficult, that you lost your motivation. But on the contrary, if you are feeling happy you will get that motivation back. Motivation will emerge according to your life value, desire, necessity and ambition. Motivation also comes if we are going to travel, our life is in threat or when we are facing a risk. So, when you lost your motivation, it is time to challenge yourself. Create again that lost motivation. How? Do these things : Stay enthusiastic, fill yourself with anxiousness, read books, listen to motivation cassette, contemplate your dreams, imagine when your dream are fulfilled, realize that you are in the process of change, and stop hoping that life will be easier. Challenging yourself means you dare to acknowledge every strength and weakness. You have to be ready to change them into power and strength. Dare to challenge yourself means you have entered the world of the highest commitment in the process to achieve your own victory.

Take a step forward

After you are certain with the path you chose, it is time to take a step forward. Preparation is absolutely needed in your journey to become an extraordinary man. Things that you have to do are : change frustration into action. It is time for you to leave your concepts, methods, work strategies and old habits. Change to new ones. It is time to rise, wake up and realize that you can be extraordinary if you are willing to pay the price. What do you have to do? Make a list of the best attitude and throw the bad ones. Keep your spirit and passion, keep learning to develop your potency, personality, challenges, always speak positively, make a better achievement, always in contact with everyone, always motivate yourself all the time, and understand the law of harvest. If you want durian, don’t plant a corn seed.

Become Extraordinary

After recognizing yourself, dare to challenge yourself, start to move forward into improvement, progress, positive self-development, then get ready to accept your birth as an extraordinary man. Think first before act is the way of extraordinary men. Your vehicle is a facility you use to go to your desired future. Your vehicle is your spirit.

Willingness

In the end, willingness and choices will decide whether you want to be extraordinary man or just ordinary. No matter who you are, where you came from, if you are willing and if you choose to become an extraordinary man, you can. But if you don’t want to, your life will never change. If you don’t make a choice, don’t blame your circumstances. You are the one who decide where your destination is, with who, what to bring, how much supplies, when to leave, which way to travel, everything depends on your own choice and decision. Becoming extraordinary is just one of so many choices you can make in your life. You can if you want it.

85 Ways to Motivate Yourself

2011-02-07T05:26:00.000+08:00

1. Behave and act accordingly as if your life is about to end.

2. Dare to dream and live that dream of yours.

3. Keep affirming what you want to achieve.

4. Bear a successful and happy result in your mind.

5. Be firm and strict to yourself. If you are afraid of something, do what you are even more afraid of.

6. Think in simple ways. Focus on just one aim at a time.

7. Always look for something positive behind negative/unpleasant things.

8. Listen to songs/music and watch movies which could motivate you.

9. Note down what you have accomplished so far, so you have a record that proves your competency to do your tasks in the past.

10. Convince that you somehow are creative in some way. Being creative doesn’t necessarily relate to originality, rather it deals with the unexpected.

11. Read books that could affect the deepest of your personality or which could motive you so much as to make you its fanatic admirer.

12. When you’re driving your car, make use of the time effectively by listening to some motivation audio.

13. Plan carefully what you want to do. A good plan will maximize your productive time.

14. Adhere to the thought “I don’t get used to it yet“ rather than “I am no able to”, because “I don’t get used to it yet” may optimistically means sometime in future “you will be able to”.

15. The most important thing is not how fast you complete your duty. In fact the slower you do it, the faster you get it done.

16. Choose friends that support you positively.

17. Convince yourself that it is your own thinking which determines your future. It is not your background or personality that make you either successful or not.

18. Spare some time to be alone to do some reflection. Some great ideas might be born just when you are all by yourself.

19. Try to find some way to make whatever you’re doing pleasant or amusing.

20. Stop worrying because usually most of the things you worry about never come to existence.

21. It is you, not other people’s thoughts or your surroundings that should plan and build your own life.

22. Accept your inadequacies as they are, don’t be ashamed of them, be yourself, stay cheerful all the time. Your honesty will make people appreciate you greatly.

23. Cut down watching TV or if need be, stop watching. It is simply related to answering this question: “How much are you really inspired by the TV programmes you watch?”

24. Do things that challenge you most because challenges make you grow and expand.

25. Regard your future tasks as games you are going to play. You have the option whether to react or to create.

26. The ability to imagine is more a habit rather than a talent. By imagining, some innovative solution will likely come up to help you dealing with your problems.

27. Face and deal with your fears directly. If you run away from them, it will only make them pursue you.

28. Create good relationships with other people.

29. Make your conversation with other people interactive and nice.

30. You must realize that nothing will happen until you generate a will to make it happen. Be honest and discipline with your own resilience.

31. Find your own version of small virtuals to function as warming-ups to motivate you prior to doing your tasks.

32. You must realize that happiness depends not on your achievement of something. Happiness lies within your mind so you could feel happy anytime if you want to.

33. Dare to say “No” to temptations. Each time you reject a temptation little or great, you again some strength.

34. Change any negative-connoted words into positive ones, for example: “it looks like I will fail” into “I am still trying hard”.

35. Filter out all news coming to your brain. Most news today have negative nuances: murders, robberies, frauds, corruptions, scandals, accidents, gossips, etc. All of those are definitely harmful inputs for your brain.

36. Focus on today’s agendas, no need to live in the past or worry about the future.

37. Keep your brain cup empty so it is ever ready to catch in any new knowledge coming. Be like kids who naturally have great curiousity.

38. Help other people to get what they want. Give them inspiration, encouragement and support.

39. An optimistic knows that the up-and-down cycle of life will always be there, so you shouldn’t be frightened or fuel defeated when you happen to be in the down position.

40. You must live and survive on your own strength. You must set in your mind the situation as if no one will ever help you.

41. You must decide first what the aim of your life is by asking this question: “what can make you happy“ and ”what can make you excited”.

42. Always regard whatever you must do as something simple, then you will find it is easy to do that.

43. See your job as a game to play. You may ask your co-workers to join in a competition of performance. Salesmen should see that the more complicated a prospect is, the more amusing it is to try to get a sale. Online businessmen should see that the harder it is to get the traffic, the more amusing it is to tinker with the web.

44. Even your mind sometimes needs relaxation. Try painting, music, etc.

45. Make today the best and the finest day in your life by doing the greatest thing you can possibly do, as if tomorrow never comes.

46. Enjoy all your problems, not only because they are inevitable, but because they can make you more self-reliant and strong.

47. Visualize your motivation words and thoughts which you don’t want to forget. For example, by sticking them up on your table, on your bathroom’s wall or any other places you often dome to.

48. Create simple commitments for yourself to implement every day.

49. Prepare a book for your dreams. Write down separately each thing you want to achieve in that book and set a time limit for achieving each of them.

50. In deciding your future, you must think out of the box and never let yourself influenced by your past.

51. Don’t worry too much about having to do your task perfectly. It is alright to do “badly” in the first effort. Optimistic people believe more in process, rather than in result.

52. Learn to keep being optimistic. Naturally optimistism is coutagious. It opens door to possibilities. Pessimism is just the opposite, it allows withdrawing and closing the doors of opportunity.

53. Every misfortune is a blessing in disguise, so it is wise to turn any misfortune into something good and useful.

54. Make a list of ideas by way of brain-storming. A member of great ideas might result from brain-storming process.

55. We don’t sing because we are happy. We are happy because we sing. So let us sing!

56. We live in an era where individual competency matters and is appreciated regardless of age and status. So secure for yourself an ability you really master. Be a part of the future.

57. It is always difficult to drop your old habit immediately. So replace it gradually with
some new better habit, for example: smoking is replaced by doing crossword-puzzle or reading motivation article or discussing current topics, etc.

58. You must know that you can’t manage time, you can only manage yourself. Imagine your day as an empty canvas and the painter in yourself.

59. One essential thing that can motivate you is the air you inhale. Running, walking or just taking deep breath will supply some nutrition to your brain making it refreshened and creative.

60. Find someone honest and open-hearted who is ready and willing to feed back you in bringing about self-motivation and growth you need.

61. Recognize what harmful habits are trapping you. Replace them soon with ones you truly desire which enable you to develop positively.

62. Always ask yourself these questions:
1. What good things are there in my life?
2. What is still remaining to be done?

63. Make a promise to someone, either personally or professionally, that you will do something or your own choice. Making promises is a forceful and effective way to motivate you.

64. How to make you fortunate? By making other people feel lucky! When you are in luck, you will be more motivated.

65. Be ready to compete anywhere you can.

66. If you plan to change yourself, try to break down the change into small ones. Remember that a journey of 1000 miles is covered by taking small paces.

67. Fantasize your vision. Imagine what you want your future to be like.

68. Lighten your problems by making jokes of them.

69. Ask yourself this question: “If I live in poverty, how much love and attention I could give to my children or other people?”

70. Note down all things you can think of which can motivate you. Keep the note with you anywhere you go and consult it whenever you feel unmotivated.

71. Find out what you are pursuing in this life and why?

72. Note down all things worrying you, then do something about them. When such action is taken, fear will disappear.

73. Try to get more enjoyment rather than more pleasure. For example: money is a pleasure for a lottery winner, but for hard workers, money is something to enjoy.

74. Mind and body are very closely related, so doing some regular sport will help your brain to function more clearly.

75. Take a closer look at your weakness, it may turn out to be something of your advantage. Creative possibilities might come up from there too.

76. Consider that “you are the problem yourself”. By thinking so, you can come to see yourself as “the problem solver”.

77. Multiply your target reasonably. More challenging targets will force you to be more creative.

78. Decide upon someone to become your “hero” or “idol” who will force you to be more creative.

79. If the present vision you adhere to fails to make you jump out of your bed each morning, change it by building a new vision which could stimulate you to act just by thinking about it.

80. Your knowledge is your basic power driving you to move on, so you must control what you know. The more you recognize what motivates you, the easier it is for you to motivate yourself.

81. To lie and to be partly honest will be burdening you on and on. On the other hand, complete honestly will clear up your mind and supply the energy and clarity needed for self motivating.

82. When you read something important, read it loudly. You will get twice as much effect compared to what you get by reading it by heart.

83. Don’t wait for your feeling to motivate you. Just laugh out your feeling even if there is no reason to.

84. If you find it difficult to decide what you want in this life, just start with what you don’t want.

85. Remember that God doesn’t let even the birds on the sky to starve, moreover us, human. Always pray and ask strength from our creator

7 Tiny Places to Find Everyday Inspiration

2011-02-07T04:42:00.000+08:00

You don’t need to travel to a mountaintop or meet a guru to add a little inspiration to your life. There are plenty of small places in your life that you see every single day that can provide you with loads of inspiration, free of charge and in abundance. Here are some little things you can appreciate in your life today:

1. A smile
Whether it’s someone you know, a child or a stranger, a smile can change the way you see the world. However small, a smile can inspire you to see things you might have missed, look at the bright side or just appreciate all the blessings in your life.

2. The ugly
It’s not only beautiful things that can inspire you but the less attractive as well. The pigeon at the bus stop getting by with only one leg can be just as inspirational as a magnificent stag in the woods if you look at it in the right way.

3. The natural world
The world that surrounds you is full of small things that can inspire you. From a dewy spider web to a grand sunset, look to the world at large to find landscapes, creatures and phenomena that can inspire you.

4. Your morning commute.
Whether you take public transportation or drive your own car, looking at the scenery, watching other travelers or listening to a new radio program can radically change how you see your day, week or year.

5. The past
While the past is behind you, it can play a big role in your present day life. Whether you think about what obstacles you’ve overcome or look to older ways of life, you’ll find loads to stay interested in through years past.

6. Families
They don’t have to be your own to be inspiring but your own children, parents and relatives can also be a great source of inspiration. From watching their growth to appreciating the bond between relatives, families can touch your heart and use your emotions to inspire.

7. Walking
Walking around can be a great way to meditate, think about important ideas and see new parts of your community. Use the opportunity walking provides to break through creative blocks and start feeling inspired about your life.

The Power of Giving & Gratitude

2011-02-07T03:29:00.000+08:00

The Power of Giving

“We make a living with what we get. But we make a life with what we give.”
- Winston Churchill

“One cannot truly help others without helping himself.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest world leaders, people with great achievements, and extremely successful people are always great givers. Napoleon Hills said, “I attract others to serve me because of my willingness to serve others.”

The law of cause and reaction states that every reaction has a cause, and every cause has a reaction. It also can be stated as the principals of boomerang, which says that what you give to the universe will come back directly to your life. Give more and you will receive more. Give less and you will receive less.

The problem is many people give less and wish more. It will not work, and then they will be disappointed.

Why giving is so important for success? There are two reasons :

1. If you give great service and value to others, you will receive great repayment.
2. Giving is the quickest way to plant the new ideas and reality about abundance into your subconscious. When you give, you say to your subconscious that you have more than enough and that you live in total abundance. You don’t have to pile it, take care what you have, be stingy, or hide it in some certain way. You can always attract to yourself more than you need-all the time, and from an infinite resources.

The Power of Gratitude

“When you feel grateful, you become very good, and then you attract very good things.”
- Plato

“The act of gratitude is the source of goodness.”
- Marcus Tullius Cicero

The act of gratitude is not only the source of goodness, but also the source of all life goodness. Being grateful brings love, health, happiness, and prosperity. Wherever you find really successful people, you will find a lot of acts of gratitude. The act of gratitude creates a magnetic field which is stronger than the others, it is so strong it cannot hold the coming of your vision to you.
The other side of the coin is that the lack of gratitude can extremely paralyzes you. If we are not careful, we can forget all goodness that has came to our life. Focusing to what you do not have, not to what you really have, throw all your systems into the negative vibrant and the state of imbalance. According to the law of gravity, people who are not grateful intend to attract and manifest things that they in fact fear of and hate: poorness, and all its form. They think about poorness, so they manifest poorness.

To have a continuous feeling of gratitude,
you have to understand and believe three truths:

1. Your situation now is very good and will always get better.
2. Your life now is full of things that you can be grateful of.
3. Your results now will continuously change, grow, and become better.

According to the law of relativity, our reality is created only because of comparison. We can feel grateful or ungrateful for whatever our situation is right now. Some people may feel truly blessed and grateful for a 30.000 dollars salary. Some other people may not be satisfied at all with that amount.

Luckily, we all have many things to be grateful of. We are alive. Most of us have relation with others, well fed, have a place to rest, and clothes. To get into the ungrateful mind set, we have to forget all of it and focus on limited amount of things which makes us unsatisfied.
For example, you may be not satisfied with your salary now. The only way for you to feel unsatisfied is to compare it with something else, to value it with certain criteria. There is nothing wrong with the desire to increase your earnings, but it’s actually useless to think about that amount of money as too much or too small. May be the amount is not exactly as much as you wanted, but that amount is probably quite a lot if compared to the annual average income of 180 dollar in Bangladesh. If you look at it from that point of view, your feeling about it will change.

Your situation now is the result of your past thoughts and your past acts. This situation is not good or bad. This situation is just how it is now. There is no connection with how much will you earn in the future and there is no real meaning except the one you gave to it. Since you can choose to be grateful or ungrateful, why not choose the framework of mind which will star to bring more goodness to yourself? The grateful attitude is one of the strongest magnet in the universe. Use it to attract more than anything you want.

The moment you start to be actively grateful for all the good things in your life, know that more good things are coming to you. When you send these positive and grateful vibrations, it is impossible for you to fail.

10 Ways Understanding Love Relationship

2011-01-26T02:19:00.000+08:00

Whether or not we realize it, our relationships dictate the amount of happiness and satisfaction we achieve in life. Now, we're not just talking about romantic relationships, but, rather, all of the relationships we have in our lives. Everyone we interact with plays a vital role in how we perceive ourselves and the world around us, so you can see how important it is to nurture healthy and supportive relationships. Maybe, you're happy in your current situation, or perhaps you're struggling. In any case, we know that the best of relationships can always get better. Read on to discover 10 essential steps to improve every relationship in your life.

One: Know What You Value
Before you can start improving anything about your relationships, you need to know what is deeply important to you. Figuring this out requires you to go deep inside and discover what you most truly value in a relationship. Keep in mind that values aren't the same thing as strategies. Strategies involve very specific details (I value finding a partner in the next six months); while values are much broader in scope (I value caring and consideration.) Once you discover what it is that you value, you'll then have the clarity to be able to get those things from your relationships.

Two: Know What You Do Want
Often, people tend to focus on the things that they don't want in a relationship. This kind of thinking produces thoughts such as, "I don't want my spouse to spend so much time at work" or "I don't want my mother criticizing everything I do." While not wanting these things is understandable, it's very hard to get results when you're dealing with all the things that you don't want. Instead, think about what it is that you DO want. Maybe what you really want is to spend more time with your spouse and to receive more appreciation from your mother. Knowing what you want is the only way to start getting the things that you want in a relationship.

Three: Create Alignment
Another essential step in improving your relationships is the ability to create alignment with others about what you want in your relationships. Instead of working separately toward your own agenda, try finding common goals that you share with your partner. When you have alignment about what you want, and you start sharing the same vision for the relationship, making agreements and accomplishing results happens much more easily. This opens the way for greater success and mutual satisfaction.

Four: Stop Taking Things Personally
This step is difficult for many people because, as humans, we seem to have taught ourselves to react emotionally to situations where we feel hurt, or vulnerable. In order to learn how to stop taking things to heart, it's important that we understand that people's words and actions are prompted by a desire to meet their own needs, or to support something that they value. In other words, while it may seem to you that they're launching a personal attack, what's really happening is that something they need or value is missing from the situation. Once we understand that their actions are all about them-not us-it's easier to move forward and solve the problem instead of reacting to it.

Five: Explore What They Want
Beyond just creating alignment to fulfill your own values and desires, it's just as important that you identify very clearly what the other person would ideally like to have in your relationship - what they value most and want to experience. Once you and your partner have an understanding about what you both want from your relationship, you can move forward to achieve mutual satisfaction and contentment.

Six - Give 100% Presence
Step six is all about putting your own judgments and opinions aside and really listening to what your partner has to say. So much of our communication is clouded with our own feelings, desires, and agendas; it's easy to miss important clues about what the other partner really needs to make the relationship work. Giving the gift of your presence to someone else shows that you truly care about making a deep and lasting connection.

Seven: Have an Alignment Conversation
Once you've identified what you want and value, and you've given your presence to your partner and come to an understanding about what they want and value, it's time to have a very clear, conscious conversation about what you each want to create in your relationship. Do you want to spend more time together? Do you want to be more appreciative of each other? The alignment conversation is your time to formulate a blueprint for the actions you and your partner agree to take to insure that both of you get what you need.

Eight: Be Gentle With Yourself
We've spent a lot of time talking about the steps you need to take to be there for your partner. Throughout the process, it's also important to take care of yourself. It's common for alignment conversations to stir up past resentments as you focus on how to change the situation that created them in the first place. When you start to feel uncomfortable, or angry about the emotions the conversation brings up - STOP. Give yourself a breather and take the time to examine the reasons beneath the feelings you are having. As we mentioned before, everything that everyone says or does is motivated by a value that isn't being supported, and this includes the voice inside your head. Figure out what may be triggering your emotions before moving on with the conversation.

Nine: Create Agreements through Negotiation
Once you've created an alignment with your partner, you'll need to make some concrete agreements about how to reach your goals for the relationship. For example, if you both decide that you would like to create more trust, perhaps you'll create an agreement about checking in with each when you need more information. The best way to reach these agreements is through negotiation with your partner. Negotiation is a lot like dancing: you step forward, your partner steps back, you turn around and then meet in the middle. Perfecting this dance takes some practice, but once you start actively doing the dance, it will get easier and easier.

Ten: Trust the Process
Last, but not least, in order for these steps to work, it's imperative that you trust the process. Things may not go exactly as you imagine, but that doesn't mean that your efforts aren't making a difference. Trusting the process means putting the brakes on your skepticism, refusing to give in to unproductive thoughts that may arise, and believing that it's really and truly possible for everyone to be satisfied with the outcome. The best way to fully trust the process is to become an Explorer. An Explorer believes that there is something to discover, they have a commitment to discover it, and they are in action creating strategies to fulfill their commitment.

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